dread merchant

A person who makes a living by predicting disasters and worst-case scenarios.

Guy1: What's the news, man?

Guy2: Bird Flu, terrorists, hurricanes, global warming, the price of gasoline and natural gas and electricity skyrocketing, death toll in Iraq . . .

Guy1: Boy, the dread merchants are busy lately!

by JRob November 7, 2005

meme merchant

A person who travels far and wide, distributing memes wherever they go.

"See that guy over there? He's a meme merchant":

by Ashe, the Nightingale July 11, 2017

wind-up merchant

a teaser, especially of gullible people

He's a real wind-up merchant, to him every day is April Fool's Day.

by Bill Cranny December 16, 2003

Cloud Merchant

When a kiteboarder sends his kite back in time to perform a super radical "wakestyle" maneuver.

Did you see that f#cking cloud merchant, Andy D Bag Mcgee yesterday sending his kite so far back in time that it pretty much wasn't even stitched in the factory yet whilst performing his low mobes for the cover shoot of the new KBM magazine.

by Hadlow January 4, 2010

Steven Merchant

British comedy writer who co-wrote sitcoms such as The Office and Extras with Ricky Gervais. A great idol to many young and aspiring comedy writers. Has also won many awards and is recognised in the US.

Also known as the Oggmonster..

by Riteous Mango July 19, 2005

spoof merchant

A spoof merchant is a person who has similar characteristics to that of nineteenth century civilian, whose livelihood is dependent on his ability to create slight of hand or illusions, whilst creating some sort of distraction in order to rob an unsuspecting victim of their monies or valuable personal items.

"I just had my monacle stolen, from inside my jacket pocket!" proclaimed the wealthy middle-class gentleman. "He was most forthright in his questioning. He wanted to know where paddington station was. WHAT A little spoof Merchant he was!"

by Gregory Taylor January 9, 2008

ping merchant

A person whose sole basis of winning is dependent on their superior internet connection. Lacking any real skill in the game, simply relying on Ethernet connection to win.

Wow I can’t take Chauncey’s wall ever! He really is a ping merchant!

Wow Chauncey has no shot delay, another example of his ping mercantilism!

by get_got February 15, 2022