by Range68W December 1, 2019
Get the Chicago Fleshlight mug.pete: so why did you loan that douchebag $500? he already owes you $2500 for that car he bought from you!
clete: well, he promised if he hit it big at the casino, he'd give me double the money he owes me, so i figured "what the hell?"
pete: it's bad enough you buy this guy's bull shit, but ignoring his past is like giving a flashlight to a blind man. next time, just burn your spare cash.
clete: well, he promised if he hit it big at the casino, he'd give me double the money he owes me, so i figured "what the hell?"
pete: it's bad enough you buy this guy's bull shit, but ignoring his past is like giving a flashlight to a blind man. next time, just burn your spare cash.
by earpuller November 21, 2010
Get the like giving a flashlight to a blind man mug.Troy: dude I used the public fleshlight at the beach yesterday. Now I feel awesome!
Sam: Me too!!! fleshlight
Sam: Me too!!! fleshlight
by EnchantedOrangeSoda November 11, 2015
Get the public fleshlight mug.An incredible highly recommended male's sex toy that really DOES feel like the real thing.
It never has a headache, you can't get it pregnant, it's never that time of the month, it's always in the mood, doesn't gripe at you for leaving the toilet seat up, doesn't nag you for leaving your underwear on the floor, doesn't care if you'll respect it in the morning, doesn't need to cuddle afterwards, doesn't care if you bring home another girl, it can't give you crabs or the clap, and you don't have to worry about it divorcing you and ripping your testicles off through your wallet.
If only it could cook, do dishes, and iron, women would be out of business.
It never has a headache, you can't get it pregnant, it's never that time of the month, it's always in the mood, doesn't gripe at you for leaving the toilet seat up, doesn't nag you for leaving your underwear on the floor, doesn't care if you'll respect it in the morning, doesn't need to cuddle afterwards, doesn't care if you bring home another girl, it can't give you crabs or the clap, and you don't have to worry about it divorcing you and ripping your testicles off through your wallet.
If only it could cook, do dishes, and iron, women would be out of business.
by lockboy March 31, 2008
Get the fleshlight mug.A Flashlight Makes It Alot Crisper clear Cleaner And Crystal Like Clear Like Saranwrap You S.O What?
by Hollenhammer May 13, 2005
Get the flashlight mug.When someone from an affluent family uses a lobster or other large, cylindrical crustacean as a male masturbation aid, similar to a flesh light.
by Pattycake69 September 28, 2023
Get the Mosman Fleshlight mug.A flashlight (US, CA) or torch (UK, AU) is a portable hand-held electric lamp. Formerly, the light source typically was a miniature incandescent light bulb, but these have been displaced by light-emitting diodes (LEDs) since the mid-2000s. A typical flashlight consists of the light source mounted in a reflector, a transparent cover (sometimes combined with a lens) to protect the light source and reflector, a battery, and a switch, all enclosed in a case.
The invention of the dry cell and miniature incandescent electric lamps made the first battery-powered flashlights possible around 1899. Today, flashlights use mostly light-emitting diodes and run on disposable or rechargeable batteries. Some are powered by the user turning a crank, shaking the lamp, or squeezing it. Some have solar panels to recharge the battery. Flashlights are used as a light source outdoors, in places without permanently installed lighting, during power outages, or when a portable light source is needed.
In addition to the general-purpose, hand-held flashlight, many forms have been adapted for special uses. Head- or helmet-mounted flashlights designed for miners and campers leave both hands free. Some flashlights can be used under water or in flammable atmospheres.
The invention of the dry cell and miniature incandescent electric lamps made the first battery-powered flashlights possible around 1899. Today, flashlights use mostly light-emitting diodes and run on disposable or rechargeable batteries. Some are powered by the user turning a crank, shaking the lamp, or squeezing it. Some have solar panels to recharge the battery. Flashlights are used as a light source outdoors, in places without permanently installed lighting, during power outages, or when a portable light source is needed.
In addition to the general-purpose, hand-held flashlight, many forms have been adapted for special uses. Head- or helmet-mounted flashlights designed for miners and campers leave both hands free. Some flashlights can be used under water or in flammable atmospheres.
Person 1: It's too dark! What will we do?
Person 2: I know, we will use this flashlight that I pulled out of my ass
Person 2: I know, we will use this flashlight that I pulled out of my ass
by Guy Who Tells Stuff And Such September 4, 2023
Get the Flashlight mug.