(Pronounced like "Midas Touch" but with a dropped "D").
Having the reverse Midas Touch curse: Everything you touch turns/goes to shit. Also, used for when you seem to be bad luck for other people as well. Often used in a rhetorical question about the state of ones own life or as a warning to other that your losing streak might be contagious.
Interchangeable with reverse midas touch.
See also gilligan, Bad Luck Barry, bad luck guy, Humphrey Hambone
Alternately, LITERALLY touching poo with your finger, not washing it, and then either touching things with your dirty digit or causing people to smell your dirty digit.
See also poo finger.
Having the reverse Midas Touch curse: Everything you touch turns/goes to shit. Also, used for when you seem to be bad luck for other people as well. Often used in a rhetorical question about the state of ones own life or as a warning to other that your losing streak might be contagious.
Interchangeable with reverse midas touch.
See also gilligan, Bad Luck Barry, bad luck guy, Humphrey Hambone
Alternately, LITERALLY touching poo with your finger, not washing it, and then either touching things with your dirty digit or causing people to smell your dirty digit.
See also poo finger.
"A flat tire while I'm on the ass end of town AND no cell reception? What do I have today, the Myass touch?! Maybe that teenager over there with the red bandana on his head will let me use his phone..."
"Don't even shake my hand, Bro, I totally have the Myass touch today. If you touch me you'll prolly have your dog die or your mom get cancer or something."
"My day was going fine until you showed up. What do you have, the Myass touch?
Don't touch that its an antique!!! *crash*"
"Don't even shake my hand, Bro, I totally have the Myass touch today. If you touch me you'll prolly have your dog die or your mom get cancer or something."
"My day was going fine until you showed up. What do you have, the Myass touch?
Don't touch that its an antique!!! *crash*"
by The Neutral Christ June 11, 2010
Get the Myass Touch mug.Providing extra attention to something that generally results in extra results. It's also used to define pure bullshit as a way to disguise slacking off.
William said that he would be working on a "high touch" customer, but everyone in the office knew that he was really just reading the newspaper while sitting in his rocking chair.
by The mad shatter April 28, 2017
Get the high touch mug.Related Words
torch
• torched
• Torcher
• Torchwood
• torchjob
• Torchy
• torch light
• Torch Queen
• torched my shorts
• torchfire
The only sensible way to describe the colossally oblivious staff at Urban Dictionary, who wouldn't be able to spot culturally relevant humour if it was fashioned into a .50 caliber machine gun round and fired into their gormless, fuckwitted faces.
You are Out Of Touch Cunts.
Out Of Touch Cunts is what you are.
Tourist: "Excusez moi, I was 'oping to locate some utterly clueless fuckwits to mock. I am a long way from 'ome and 'ave no idea where to look."
Helpful person: "Sadly, you aren't actually in America, so the number of utterly clueless fuckwits is going to be quite low. What you need to do is visit the on-line Urban Dictionary. The people that run that thing are such brainless shit-cunts that I'd be surprised if they weren't ALL American! Hahahaha!"
Tourist: "Hahahahahaha! They must be real Out Of Touch Cunts, nes pas?"
Helpful person: " Yes! They really are! Utter fucking wankstains, the lot of them! Allegedly!"
Out Of Touch Cunts is what you are.
Tourist: "Excusez moi, I was 'oping to locate some utterly clueless fuckwits to mock. I am a long way from 'ome and 'ave no idea where to look."
Helpful person: "Sadly, you aren't actually in America, so the number of utterly clueless fuckwits is going to be quite low. What you need to do is visit the on-line Urban Dictionary. The people that run that thing are such brainless shit-cunts that I'd be surprised if they weren't ALL American! Hahahaha!"
Tourist: "Hahahahahaha! They must be real Out Of Touch Cunts, nes pas?"
Helpful person: " Yes! They really are! Utter fucking wankstains, the lot of them! Allegedly!"
by Dubwar666 May 14, 2019
Get the Out Of Touch Cunts mug.Infamous, now viral, phrase uttered by John Tyner of Oceanside after refusing to be subjected to an airport body scanner and subsequent thorough pat down.
Can also be used in any social setting where you just want people to stop bothering you with uninteresting things.
Can also be used in any social setting where you just want people to stop bothering you with uninteresting things.
TSA - "Sir, we need to pat you down..."
JT - "Don't touch my junk!"
Boring friend- "Hey man, you want to see these slides from my family summer vacation?"
JT - Don't touch my junk!"
JT - "Don't touch my junk!"
Boring friend- "Hey man, you want to see these slides from my family summer vacation?"
JT - Don't touch my junk!"
by alexgb72 November 19, 2010
Get the Don't touch my junk! mug.by Anaabelley September 28, 2010
Get the Touch My Mafia mug.The original form of the expression "check yourself before you wreck yourself". It simply means that before doing something that could have negative consequences you should always masturbate.
LaBonaynayshaquiartisha: I'ma knife that manstealin ho LaFoundaquisha right in her damb ovary!
Mayonnaise: Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllll, you need to touch yo'self befo' you fuck yo'self!
Mayonnaise: Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllll, you need to touch yo'self befo' you fuck yo'self!
by KKK Here to Stay! May 31, 2011
Get the Touch yo'self befo' you fuck yo'self mug.