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Fap Bastard

A person who was unintentionally conceived through masturbatory semen.
Fuck off Mike. Your mother sat on a pile of cum on a toilet seat at a barn party back in '92 which consequently produced you. You're just a filthy fap bastard.
by JamieB123 November 1, 2014
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Bastard jummy

When you are trying to insult someone in a Scottish accent and the only thing you can think of is "Bastard jummy"
by Stijn November 28, 2014
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Knuckle-Bastards

Semen discharged from an act of self-gratification, usually left to dribble over the thumb of the active hand.
I was in the bathroom after your mum took a shit, so I thought I'd use that time to fire off some knuckle-bastards.
by FormerSmurf April 7, 2015
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The fap-bastard

"The lonely suburban" to masterbate while pooping or just sitting on the toilet.
Dude I ate some bad food yesterday so I had plenty of time on the toilet for the fap-bastard
by Johnny coxvile August 20, 2017
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UnLUCKY Bastard!

A term describing Touma, a no-good guy with a neutering ability or a curse from God that nullifies all non-physical attacks on him.

He unaware that he built a harem with 9,000+ clones, a nun with the Vatican's most forbidden books, 2 Japanese Christian members, Rail Gun, and among others.
Somebody who's an "UnLUCKY Bastard!" shut that sadist boy.
by Kay Tutan Tayo December 28, 2018
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lady bastard

An indiscreet female with a gritty attitude. She gives no fucks and is happy to tell you to fuck off. Fuck you, Jenny.
That lady bastard! She stole my lunch and sent me an instagram of it to me.
by awarmfastbear April 27, 2019
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Fat Bastard

is a fictional character in the second and third films of the Austin Powers series. A morbidly obese henchman hailing from Scotland, Fat Bastard serves Dr. Evil in his quest to destroy Austin Powers. The character is portrayed by Mike Myers.
His extreme size and weight (1 metric tonne, according to Dr. Evil) endows Fat Bastard with massive strength. He exhibited this prowess in the sumo ring in the third movie.
Fat Bastard is noted for his foul temper, his emotional monologues that culminate in flatulence, his vulgar, crude manners, and his unusual diet. These go as far as to include a cannibalistic taste for human infants and midgets, whom he gluttonously calls, "The other, other white meat". In Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, he boasts that he once ate a baby, and tries to refuse Dr. Evil's money for his services in exchange for getting to eat Mini-Me. He also has the same Scottish accent as Shrek (also voiced by Myers), whose movie was released in 2001, two years after The Spy Who Shagged Me (and a year before Goldmember in 2002).
P1: you fat bastard.
P2: takes is profile off crying
by ... Zjdbckdnznsjd September 10, 2019
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