masturbation procrastination

When you throw all your responsibilities out the window and just masturbate.

Damon didn't finish his project until the last minute because he was too busy with masturbation procrastination.

by dddisaster November 29, 2016

email masturbate

The act of sending yourself an email.

Can I use your computer to email masturbate? I need to remind myself of something for tomorrow.

by fbunky November 14, 2013

Mental Masturbation

The act of imagining unreal or false things and taking them as true, and / or deliberately interpreting a fact, or acting in a wrong way, to evade a reality, boost your ego or twist a situation to your convenience.

"That girl think I like her because i invited her to my party, that's pure mental masturbation"

by Falcon64 April 30, 2018

Masturbation Paralyzation

When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.

Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!

by WhiterThanKevinJames'Vagina June 3, 2018

mobile masturbating

When you masturbate in a moving vehicle, may be done as either driver or passenger

Hanging out with my friends got me so horny I did a little mobile masturbating on the way home to relieve myself.

by Tonksalot September 14, 2018

precation masturbation

The act of masturbating the day before a long vacation to avoid the urge to touch oneself in close proximity to friends and/or family members.

I've made our reservations, packed our bags, and had my precation masturbation session. I am totally ready for this trip!

by RonnieRon February 6, 2017

Emotional Masturbation

Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite rmark from another

Nicholas: I'm fat
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*

by d_Firefox_b March 7, 2023