dating Jesus

1. A Christian who's not dating because they are waiting for God to reveal their spouse. Made popular by the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris
2. A Christian who's not dating for one of the following reasons; intensely in love with God, fear relationships, fear intimacy, dating is just to much work, socially awkward, etc.

Don't bother asking her out, she's "dating Jesus".

by linuxgrl January 12, 2009

y'all bitches need jesus

Thy Lord is testing me; You're retarded; Stupid, ratchet; Get religious help

Bernice: Put down the Starbucks or you'll be sorry!
Basic White Girl: (drinks Starbucks and sticks tongue out at Bernice)
Bernice: (walks away, and comes back with chancla)
Basic White Girl: What are you gonna do with tha-
Bernice: (smacks Basic White Girl with chancla repeatedly)
Basic White Girl: Aaaahhhh! (drops Starbucks)
Random stripper walking by: Y'all bitches need Jesus!

by Frocoochie Q. Lottaweave June 6, 2014

Jesus freak

Someone who:
Has a bracelet,bumper sticker,t-shirt, etc with Christian phrases on it.

Is a born again Christian.

Goes to church.

Talks freely to many people about their beliefs.

Has the fire of Jesus in their heart.

That person is such a Jesus Freak!

by Jesus Freak July 5, 2003

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

A Church founded in 1830 by Joseph Smith, Jr., and often nicknamed "The Mormon Church". The Church is headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah, yet has followers worldwide.

Members follow the teaching of Joseph Smith, and believe in modern day Prophets and revelation. They believe in the Holy Bible and also in The Book of Mormon. The Church's Missionaries are one of it's most recognized traits, along with it's large temples topped with a golden angel. The Church is considered Christian by many as the members have a strong belief in Jesus Christ.

Mormons are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

by jakelow November 14, 2009

jesus and pals

A group of super heroes with Jesus at the front. They are noted for defeating the Giant Satin Frog of Satan who had plagued the world for millions of years.

Matthew: OMG did you see jesus and pals on the news last night?

Josiah: Hellz yes I did they were freaking amazing

by KillerGardevoir May 19, 2008

Orange Jesus

Nickname for Donald Trump. Applicable since the launch of his campaign to run for the American presidency. The name references both his iconic, tanned skin-tone (orange) and the fact that his most adamant supporters blindly refuse to acknowledge or admit to even his most obvious shortcomings. Their stance toward Mr. Trump is almost one of unquestioned worship of a divine being (Jesus).

- Q) Did you hear the Donald Trump audiotape where he described grabbing women by the.. genitals?
- A) Yeah. It won't matter. Orange Jesus can do no wrong in the eyes of his supporters. They'll insist it's just a character attack by his opponents.

by LeighRay October 4, 2018

Fuck Jesus

An exclamation indicating displeasure or surprise. See also God Damn it, God Damn Motherfucking Shitty Fucking Shit Fuckers, Jesus Tapdancing Christ, Fucking A, Holy Jesus on a Stick, etc.

Fuck Jesus, she's got a fat ass!

by Tom December 16, 2004