oyster test

A test that can ba administered easily on a person one is interested dating. Take your date out to a restaurant that serves raw oysters.
A. If HE eats them with a straight face, he will have no problem eating pussy and will provide many years of great labia licking service. Women usually hang on to these kinds of guys.
B. If SHE eats them with a straight face, there is a great chance she will put just about anything in her mouth! She probably sucks a mean dick, swallows cum willingly, and perhaps does a few other nasty things your last girlfriend wouldn't dream of. Favorable results equal a passing score!

A. You know Jamie, I like had this date last night, and you know, I gave him the oyster test, and he like devoured them all! It was like so sexy. I like had to have him right away! He made me cum like 7 times. I hope he doesn't have a girlfriend. I'm like getting so horny again just talking about it!
B. Hey Jim, did that girl you took out last night pass the oyster test?
Yeah! She sucked down two dozen and loved every second of it. I cant wait for the next date!

by hanksbeer October 16, 2008

Onion test

A determination of whether a headline, in particular a ridiculous-sounding headline, would look out of place if reported by the comedy newspaper The Onion, which is known for 'reporting' fictional news stories frequently of the satirical or ridiculous variety.

"SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERTS SAY"? I don't think that passes the Onion test.

by Kaydiv April 21, 2011

club test

A test that determines if one's future significant other (e.g., future boyfriend/girlfriend) is a keeper. This is usually done on a date by bringing the subject (e.g., future significant other) to a club where he/she is supposedly to get hit on by other suitors.

If the subject welcomes & accepts advances by other suitors and completely ignores his/her date, the subject is said to have failed the test. This test happens in both straight and gay communities; though, it's more prevalent in the latter.

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Friend: So how did the club test go for your future boyfriend, Trevor?

You: He failed badly. We went to this club last Friday night, and a hot blonde started talking to us. Trevor very much welcomed the newcomer's presence to the point that he asked me to watch their drinks for a minute.

Friend: Damn, what a douche.

You: Yep. The club test surely revealed that he's a very low-quality BF material. Ain't nobody got time for that.

by amazingjay April 23, 2013

knockup test

Pregnancy test

As in "check out the chick buying the knockup test, everybody.
Wonder what must be going through her head? Yeah, well, since you asked, a family of mayonnaise-guzzling giants is trying to suck me into their suburban nightmare, and there's a solid chance that I have an Eriksen the size of a 15-pound turkey growing inside of me!

by Shisui November 3, 2015

Roofie Test

A test that you t hought you did well on, but it secretly fucked you without your knowledge

Man, I thought I aced that test, but turns out it was a roofie test all along.

by Puay November 9, 2017

Beep Test

1. Human Torture
2. Worst nightmare
3. Used to embarrass yourself in front of your friends
4. Has a voice of a demon

1. Have you done the beep test yet?
Yes, I fainted.

by HelloHello12345678 October 24, 2019

Pacer test

The worst gym activity known to man! Basically u line up at the starting line and when u hear a go signal, obviously u start running or jogging. u have to get to the finish line before the beep. But it keeps going until everyone gets out. The last kid left is 99.99999999999999% an athletic kid. When the gym teacher assigns a pacer test, it is just a death sentence with extra steps.

Gabe: yo Ian we are having a pacer test today
Ian: put something nice on my grave(๑•﹏•)

by Chantix turkey April 29, 2020