Jesus 

A pick me boy who likes to follow around girls most commonly known for “playing for the wrong team” likes to be respectful upfront but a whore in person.

Jesus: hey guys
Girls: Help help leave me alone!

Jesus by Truthwithurmom November 21, 2023

jesus 

has a big dick and obsessed w his girl

Jesus is him

jesus by babywyd August 31, 2024

Jesus 

Jesus: A misspelling of; Ye Zeus.

How do you think Plato voted?
Ye Zeus.
Oh Jesus! Better call Sparta.

Jesus by Goatacolypse September 28, 2024

Jesus 

the central figure of the gayest and dumbest man-made religion ever (aka Christianity). he is also the 1/3 of a dumb concept which makes no sense (the Holy Trinity, 3 in 1 shampoo). he gets more recognition than God Himself, his creator (really dumb innit). The most brainwashed people on earth (aka christians) have chosen to worship him, even though Jesus has never told anyone to do so. The only people who follow his teachings correctly are the Muslims.

"Please don't worship Jesus, he's just a prophet, not a god, nor part of a trinity."

Jesus by ISLAMisTHEtruth November 9, 2024

Jesus 

The SUN/SON LIGHT and SAVIOR of our world!

Nobody: Maaan it’s gloomy and rainy asf outside we need Jesus!

Jesus by Bocajnomis January 30, 2024

Jesus 

A guy who will act like they love you but break your heart.

"Jesus cheated on me again*

Jesus by mayay February 4, 2024

Jesus 

The way, the truth, and the life!!!!!

Guy 1: I can’t change :(
Guy 2: Jesus can change you💅

Jesus by CurlyFri December 1, 2023