masturbation escape plan

This is the plan you make when you have limited time to jerk it. Especially applicable when someone living with you may return at any moment, or could walk in on you. Its having the cursor over the x , having something to cover your junk quickly, having another tab to click to etc. How to cover up the fact you were j-ing off quickly if someone were to come in.

Bro my girl was supposed to be gone all day and she came back early and caught me beating my meat. I fucked up not having a masturbation escape plan.

by Mcgwicko August 31, 2022

Mathurbation

What math majors get when doing complex math equations.

Doug was at a party for hours and could perform mathurbation, when he got home he jumped on his computer and mathurbated.

by Gotagoiter September 29, 2022

maksturbation

The man who runs twitch.tv/cappyrox, This man has multiple girlfriends and has a wank every 2 minutes. he also is a cappy sun, which is a version of him as a capri sun

Dam I Love To Watch You Do Some Maksturbation

by Rovinsredsweater#5645 December 10, 2022

Masturbation

When one fondles their groin until cum explodes out

Jake had nothing to do and he lived alone so he grabbed his laptop and some lotion. Jake ran to his bedroom. He took his pants off and got under the covers. He put the laptop next to himself and put porn on. He spread the lotion on his hands and started the masturbation process. He got hard instantly and rubbed the lotion on his penis for 5 minutes. Cum came flying out. His covers were ruined. Jack didn't care, he kept going, until he heard a knock on the door. His girlfriend came over with condoms and dildos.

"Sarah don't come in yet!" Jack yelled.

Sarah came in anyway to the sight of Jack masturbating. Sarah lifted her top.

"Bite it off!" Sarah said whilst showing her tits to Jack.
The strange man bit Sarah's bra off and sucked on her tits like there was no tomorrow. Sarah took her pants off and shoved Jack's penis in her vagina and shoved the dildo in her ass. 30 minutes later they're both sleeping doggy style.

by cbgfyfhuddddddbvkfegiyyyyyyyyy April 1, 2023

masturbation

when you beat the absolute living shit out of your meat package so fucking hard, that a liquid located inside of your ballsack called "semen", "cum" or "jizz", rapidly shoots out of your penis hole at 800 miles an hour.

it can also lead to your girlfriend becoming pregnant and having children if shooting out your hot sticky jizz while your erect, fat, thick, juicy cock is located inside of her vagina/pussy.

(alone (masturbating))
guy: omagash im boutta cum a large quan-titty of kids after this daily and excessive masturbation

(with partner)
guy: oh my gosh im gonna shoot my hot cum inside of your pussy!!!!!!!11111
girl: shoot it inside of me daddy uwu

by Hypurrelet August 14, 2023

masturbation professor

The very essence of UBC Computer Science professors. Unfortunately this disorder passes onto its top students as well.

You need to pay each of the masturbation professors a total whopping sum of 1 million dollars per course per term as they masturbate on both the male and female instagram profiles of their students and talk incoherently in lectures just to pass time and disorient their prey.

by MatrixEnergeticWar September 10, 2023

Masturbation

The only thing that makes me feel alive.

Masturbation time!

by Hitmantheman February 1, 2024