the repair guy wouldn't leave until he got my number, I changed the locks on my girlhome and immediately relocated.
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Garth (noun) —
A Gaarf running at maximum corruption.
A Garth is the networking gremlin who treats cable management like foreplay and gets more turned on by a straight fiber run than by actual human affection. His idea of intimacy is whispering sweet nothings to a switch during a firmware upgrade.
A Garth (aka Gaarf) supports a Portuguese football team with the kind of blind, horny loyalty usually found only in dogs and drunk uncles. When Portugal loses, a Garth collapses emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically — like a router someone kicked one too many times.
Traits of a full-power Garth include:
• labeling EVERYTHING, including things that shouldn’t be labeled
• going feral when someone uses the wrong cable colour
• throwing a fit so dramatic it should be on Netflix
• lecturing you on “industry standards” while his life is held together with hope, zip ties, and rage
• getting more offended by a messy rack than by an insult to his mother
A Garth’s personality is 60% networking, 30% football delusion, and 10% sweating aggressively whenever something is out of place. Touch his patch panel and he’ll appear out of nowhere like a demon summoned by untidy cabling.
A Gaarf running at maximum corruption.
A Garth is the networking gremlin who treats cable management like foreplay and gets more turned on by a straight fiber run than by actual human affection. His idea of intimacy is whispering sweet nothings to a switch during a firmware upgrade.
A Garth (aka Gaarf) supports a Portuguese football team with the kind of blind, horny loyalty usually found only in dogs and drunk uncles. When Portugal loses, a Garth collapses emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically — like a router someone kicked one too many times.
Traits of a full-power Garth include:
• labeling EVERYTHING, including things that shouldn’t be labeled
• going feral when someone uses the wrong cable colour
• throwing a fit so dramatic it should be on Netflix
• lecturing you on “industry standards” while his life is held together with hope, zip ties, and rage
• getting more offended by a messy rack than by an insult to his mother
A Garth’s personality is 60% networking, 30% football delusion, and 10% sweating aggressively whenever something is out of place. Touch his patch panel and he’ll appear out of nowhere like a demon summoned by untidy cabling.
“Bru, calm down — I only moved ONE cable. No need to go full Garth and start vibrating like Portugal just bottled another match.”
by FankieFonkProp November 19, 2025
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by Batsy_thedarkknight November 28, 2025
Get the Garthtism mug.A software development tool which helps developers manage changes to code.
GitHub had a unique ability to turn ordinary people into raving psychopaths when a seemingly innocent mistake will require hours of overcomplicated and confusing nonsense to correct, culminating in a developer smashing their laptop with a hammer before setting fire to it and going on a Michael Douglas in Falling Down type rampage.
GitHub had a unique ability to turn ordinary people into raving psychopaths when a seemingly innocent mistake will require hours of overcomplicated and confusing nonsense to correct, culminating in a developer smashing their laptop with a hammer before setting fire to it and going on a Michael Douglas in Falling Down type rampage.
Oh for fucks sake.
I just pushed to main on GitHub instead of my feature branch. Now I mush shave my testicle with a rusty cheese grater while listening to the cheeky girls and fuck about reversing the polarity of the neutron flow for hours instead of doing actual work.
GitHub is a complete Git.
I just pushed to main on GitHub instead of my feature branch. Now I mush shave my testicle with a rusty cheese grater while listening to the cheeky girls and fuck about reversing the polarity of the neutron flow for hours instead of doing actual work.
GitHub is a complete Git.
by Berty777 December 26, 2025
Get the GitHub mug.A boy who is very clingy, but does not really know anything about you, and overly uses inappropriate compliments in random contexts to try to get you to go out with him. He also gets mad you when you can't drop everything to be able to go out, as he realizes his gross compliments have failed. Gets mad fro a day, then it all starts over again the next morning.
by london2018 February 21, 2017
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