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Professor Gooch

That fat, old, irish man from the seaside sure is a Professor Gooch
by Tinytaint July 6, 2025
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gooch cube

Possibly originating from one Harriet Whiting via her diary circa 1945. The entry containing the term - like most of her writings - is littered with ill-applied mechanics, making it notably difficult to discern at times. Because of this, certain phrasing within the entry gave rise to the mystery of the "gooch cube," where Will Gooch - a man mentioned plenty throughout the diary, his surname but once - is described to have "...cubed the cattle," with the help of another man, Van Epps. Mr. Gooch's enigma of a surname combined with the odd phrasing of "cubing the cattle" (later substituted with "caking") gave rise to the term with "gooch" already being slang for a man's taint as of roughly 2003 ("gooch" as a noun being the gender-swapped counterpart of "cooch," a guy-cooch).
To many, this origin is completely unknown and instead exists as a nonsensical term within GIFs subtitled "gooch cube" in generic Sans Serif font - though Whiting's diary is indeed its oldest documentation. To clarify, to "cube" or to "cake" cattle is to feed them densely-packed feed often in the shape of a cube, hence the terms "cattle cube" and "cattle cake" to which the aforementioned are derivative, respectively (which is likely what Whiting meant).
As for the term's origin in the realm of GIFs, any known examples of its use are now lost, being dead links. To this end, "gooch cube" may not have a definition outside of this confusion, though it may be because of this reality that it has earned one.
ORIGINAL CITING "Van Epps bought 100 bushel corn piled on field west of State Land and he never went to church but hauled some in his trailer to-day and helped Will Gooch cube the cattle in p.m."

"What does that even mean? What's a gooch cube?"

"'Gooch cube' is funny. Teehee - haha."
by soiled_it January 29, 2024
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gooch cobbler

The quagulated pasty sauce that forms in the gooch area while your lady rides you on her period.
My wife had to stop riding me,because the gooch cobbler was running down my butt.
by Jdizzlefromtctx December 4, 2017
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gooch pocket

The area between the anus and balls to hold small objects.. mainly used by your local fundraisers
My buddy got pulled over so he used his gooch pocket to hide his stuff “
by Fokbuddy October 11, 2023
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Gooch Smooch

A as of now a fictional form of torture as far as I am aware.

A gooch smooch consists of connecting the hooks of a ratchet strap in the grundel of a human. Then ratcheting the strap till said human folds in half able to smooch their own gooch. This would be a most unpleasant experience.
Damn Tony fucked up so deep the cartel found him and helped him deliver a gooch smooch!
by Tally P January 31, 2023
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gooch

a word used to describe the collection of dust and lint in PC components, such as laptop fans and vents
My laptop's vents were filled with gooch, so I had to clean them.
by SCG-1171 September 17, 2025
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Gooch Moisture

The moisture that can accumulate on the surface of the gooch, on a humid day
"Dude I total forgot my mustache gel in the car"

"Don't worry dude, whenever I run out I just take my fingers and sculpt my mustache with some gooch moisture"
by the real D! Ya dig?!? October 13, 2016
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