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massage boner

A massage boner in an uncontrollable erection you get on the massage table if anything or anyone comes even close to your junk. It's unavoidable and potentially embarrassing when this happens, especially if the massage is done by a dude.
Robin: Was so embarrassed last night.
Reg: Why ?
Robin: Man, I went for a massage and it was a dude. Couldn't help getting the hugest massage boner when he rubbed my thighs and his elbow brushed my junk. Wouldn't settle down for 10 minutes.
Reg: Did he finish it off?
Robin: Hell no.
by Paastastic7 June 13, 2013
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lowgrade boner

A symptom experienced by extended exposure to unfulfilled desires.
"Hey, what's up with Tom? He's compulsively sharpening all the pencils in the office....is he suffering from a lowgrade boner?"
by Lowbrow Thundercunt October 31, 2017
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Dad boner

A man, not necessarily a father, with an intense love for a surtain interest or thing.

Could be compared to how a child likes to show their toys to everyone or a child seeing something for the first time.

It could be looking at trains driving by, big cars or thunderstorms.

Often used to describe people in the clips of "Your moms house" podcast.
*Points to a man clapping his hands as the train drives by*
- Omg Jenny, that guy has such a dad boner for trains.
by Jojopa January 25, 2022
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mahogany boner

The hardest erection a human male can achieve. If you drop a mahogany on a bitch, you'll tear that pussy up with your rock hard cock.
TJ: Jenny just gave me the biggest fucking mahogany boner of my life.
Jeffrey: Nigga fuck you and your baby carrot dick.
by 420 BLAZER September 10, 2013
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Boner smasher

An extremely unattractive woman whose appearance causes nausea and pain.
Yesterday that boner smasher came over and I threw up in the sink.

Dang, that girl has been smashing boners since 1985.
by JBeebs10 October 12, 2013
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excel boner

To be impressed by, envious of, or aroused by a spreadsheet. Most common in cases where the Excel document contains VB Script or some other sophisticated functionality.
VLOOKUPs give me an Excel boner.
by halee June 10, 2014
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walking boner

Horny beyond belief and wanting to fuck anything that moves.
I'm soo horny, I feel like a walking boner!
by mookie's zj June 23, 2011
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