Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.
Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.
Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the kids will look like.
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.
When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.
Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.
You CAN get it from kissing... tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.
To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.
If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best.
Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes.
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.
Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.
Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the kids will look like.
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.
When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.
Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.
You CAN get it from kissing... tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.
To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.
If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best.
Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes.
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 25, 2009
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"Scientific" fuck tips from Cosmopolitan Magazine, directed to morons who confuse muscle spasms with orgasms. Such as:
Before sex, go for a run, which "will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties."
Cook some asparagus, since "it's packed with zinc, a key mineral needed for maintaining erections."
Eat some chocolate — it's caffeinated and so "can jolt the sex drive."
Drink orange juice. "Vitamin C boosts your adrenaline" and "the citrus will jumpstart her arousal system." Just drink it quickly, because she's about to start moaning, and once she does, she'll never stop.
Before sex, go for a run, which "will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties."
Cook some asparagus, since "it's packed with zinc, a key mineral needed for maintaining erections."
Eat some chocolate — it's caffeinated and so "can jolt the sex drive."
Drink orange juice. "Vitamin C boosts your adrenaline" and "the citrus will jumpstart her arousal system." Just drink it quickly, because she's about to start moaning, and once she does, she'll never stop.
Our sexual life? Awesome!!! We follow scientific Cosmo fuck tips from Cosmopolitan Magazine. You know... sex is just dopamine, androstadienone, phenylethylamine, zinc, and vitamin C.
by rperazag May 6, 2010
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Me: Hey, did you see the latest Linus Tech Tips video?
Friend: Oh yeah it was awesome he water cooled the fastest mac on the planet
Friend: Oh yeah it was awesome he water cooled the fastest mac on the planet
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