by Anhilliator1 May 28, 2017
English Literature Professor: So let's discuss Henry the Fifth.
Pseudo-Intellectual: Well much more evidence has come about showing that Shakespeare was gay.
Is that all you are capable of adding to the conversation? We are talking about the story of a King of England, his personal and political turmoils, war, written by the Bard, and you think it's even relevant that maybe the Bard smoked a little pole? Who the fuck cares! Sucking cock doesn't make you legitimate. Being fucking awesome does. Stop seeking legitimacy by saying fucking awesome person X was gay. Just because your dad hated you and rejected you, don't try to refute that by being all "well the Bard sucked cock and he wrote significant works of art".
Go out and do something with your life, and stop wasting my time.
Pseudo-Intellectual: Well much more evidence has come about showing that Shakespeare was gay.
Is that all you are capable of adding to the conversation? We are talking about the story of a King of England, his personal and political turmoils, war, written by the Bard, and you think it's even relevant that maybe the Bard smoked a little pole? Who the fuck cares! Sucking cock doesn't make you legitimate. Being fucking awesome does. Stop seeking legitimacy by saying fucking awesome person X was gay. Just because your dad hated you and rejected you, don't try to refute that by being all "well the Bard sucked cock and he wrote significant works of art".
Go out and do something with your life, and stop wasting my time.
by Schleb August 11, 2009
A Pseudo-Intellectual is somebody who thinks he's got it all figured out, but really doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.
by Slayn August 11, 2007
A team mate ready to kill any idea not coming from him/her with a lot of "we can't" arguments rather than focusing on "how can we", is pseudo-smart.
by YATT June 30, 2014
A misogynistic, sexist, homophobic or otherwise bigoted person who thinks they should be praised as « Gigachad » or « Sigma » for hating a major group of people.
by NutshellDefinitions January 25, 2023
Most accurately defined in I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker max:
"{A pseudo-intellectual typically has}horn-rimmed glasses, drinks Pinot Grigio by the glass at bars, buys poetry books but never reads them, avoids red meat, shops at the Kiehls counter, acts indignantly offended by Howard Stern,{and}likes to drop names like 'Foucault' and 'Sartre' in normal conversation."
These individuals, typically between 17 and 35 in age, can generally be found in the local coffee shop or art gallery and become very prevalent near the coastlines. However, the most common breeding grounds for pseudo-intellectuals are college campuses, with special emphasis on the Ivies, the Ivy equivalents, and tiny-ass liberal arts colleges.
Further characteristics of a pseudo intellectual include:
-ordering appletinis by the glass and requesting that they be "heavy on the apple and light on the 'tini."
-Rolling their own cigarettes (if they smoke).
-Railing on smokers for polluting the environment (if they don't smoke).
-Driving a small-ass hybrid, eating dolphin safe tuna, and criticizing those who pollute despite the fact that their Clinique makeup (if they are girls)was tested on defenseless animals and poor kids in Nepal.
-Acting "eccentric" to differentiate themselves from the masses as to seem unique, even though their kind are quite common.
-Consistently criticizing America and its citizens for no good reason, followed by the claim that they will move to Paris after they graduate from college in order to escape American "hypocrisy" and "naivete" in pursuit of a "higher culture." I didn't know high culture was defined as the act of running to America when in need then returning the favor by bitching out and waiving the white flag when America needed help (yeah, I'm talking about France).
-being nonconformists for the sake of nonconformity. The problem here is that by not conforming, they are actually conforming to the nonconformist movement and, thus, are still conformists. The majority will just respond by calling you "domesticated and uncultured" while the few honest ones will realize the error of their ways and immediately kill themselves to rectify the situation (but much to my dismay, this rarely happens).
-Having extremely bizarre statuses and/or information in their facebook profiles.
-being "liberal" solely for the sake of being liberal. Ask them what liberalism is and they will provide you with some nonsensical prattle about how you are not "enlightened" enough to understand their supposedly superior logic.
-watching or claiming to watch and enjoy French movies that no one has ever heard of. They also read similar books and will willingly criticize you for reading good fiction books like Harry Potter or reading any form of nonfiction.
-Liking Che Guevara yet knowing absolutely nothing about him or what he did. This trait is shared by wannabe Rastas as well.
Bastions of pseudo-intellectualism:
-Columbia University
-Harvard University
-Davidson College
-Carleton College
-UChicago
-Every high ranking liberal arts school
-Any school with a strong art or environmental studies program.
"{A pseudo-intellectual typically has}horn-rimmed glasses, drinks Pinot Grigio by the glass at bars, buys poetry books but never reads them, avoids red meat, shops at the Kiehls counter, acts indignantly offended by Howard Stern,{and}likes to drop names like 'Foucault' and 'Sartre' in normal conversation."
These individuals, typically between 17 and 35 in age, can generally be found in the local coffee shop or art gallery and become very prevalent near the coastlines. However, the most common breeding grounds for pseudo-intellectuals are college campuses, with special emphasis on the Ivies, the Ivy equivalents, and tiny-ass liberal arts colleges.
Further characteristics of a pseudo intellectual include:
-ordering appletinis by the glass and requesting that they be "heavy on the apple and light on the 'tini."
-Rolling their own cigarettes (if they smoke).
-Railing on smokers for polluting the environment (if they don't smoke).
-Driving a small-ass hybrid, eating dolphin safe tuna, and criticizing those who pollute despite the fact that their Clinique makeup (if they are girls)was tested on defenseless animals and poor kids in Nepal.
-Acting "eccentric" to differentiate themselves from the masses as to seem unique, even though their kind are quite common.
-Consistently criticizing America and its citizens for no good reason, followed by the claim that they will move to Paris after they graduate from college in order to escape American "hypocrisy" and "naivete" in pursuit of a "higher culture." I didn't know high culture was defined as the act of running to America when in need then returning the favor by bitching out and waiving the white flag when America needed help (yeah, I'm talking about France).
-being nonconformists for the sake of nonconformity. The problem here is that by not conforming, they are actually conforming to the nonconformist movement and, thus, are still conformists. The majority will just respond by calling you "domesticated and uncultured" while the few honest ones will realize the error of their ways and immediately kill themselves to rectify the situation (but much to my dismay, this rarely happens).
-Having extremely bizarre statuses and/or information in their facebook profiles.
-being "liberal" solely for the sake of being liberal. Ask them what liberalism is and they will provide you with some nonsensical prattle about how you are not "enlightened" enough to understand their supposedly superior logic.
-watching or claiming to watch and enjoy French movies that no one has ever heard of. They also read similar books and will willingly criticize you for reading good fiction books like Harry Potter or reading any form of nonfiction.
-Liking Che Guevara yet knowing absolutely nothing about him or what he did. This trait is shared by wannabe Rastas as well.
Bastions of pseudo-intellectualism:
-Columbia University
-Harvard University
-Davidson College
-Carleton College
-UChicago
-Every high ranking liberal arts school
-Any school with a strong art or environmental studies program.
Douglas: This girl in my biology class about how great this new french movie called "L'SurrenderMonkey" was. When I asked her if she saw "Taken," she stated that she "finds American cinema to be far too bland, as the characters typically lack emotional complexity and generally never experience a cathartic moment of transcendence."
Zach: Fucking pseudo-intellectual. How did you respond?
Douglas: With 30 seconds of dumbstruck staring....then I proceeded to powder the pimp hand and slap her multiple times across the face.
Zach: Fucking pseudo-intellectual. How did you respond?
Douglas: With 30 seconds of dumbstruck staring....then I proceeded to powder the pimp hand and slap her multiple times across the face.
by Herak Obama February 12, 2009