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soil the mattress

a failure to find a clean solution to a problem with high stakes.

also, a polite way to say someone "shit the bed"
Chip: What took you guys so long?

Paul: Ted shit the bed. He locked his keys in the car

Ted: (no response, because he knows he really did soil the mattress this time)

Chip: fuck. You're such a dumbass.
by MmongerT February 11, 2014
mugGet the soil the mattressmug.

Moldy mattress

When a man has sex so much on his bed but never cleans up after so all the juices become moldy
Did you hear how gross John is? All he does is have sex and now he has a moldy mattress
by Jerome Lobate October 25, 2019
mugGet the Moldy mattressmug.

Wog Mattress

A causcasian female who sleeps with a chap of Asian or African origin.
'Get out of the way, you smelly wog mattress.'
by Abdul Um Bongo February 23, 2009
mugGet the Wog Mattressmug.

Mattress Back

When a woman does not get off her back. Constantly has sex.
Marie fucks everyone. She's a mattress back
by Fingers9705 December 9, 2008
mugGet the Mattress Backmug.

going to the mattresses

Going to war with a rival clan or family. Used in the mafia. Its when a mafia family sends someone out to get someone apartments and some mattresses for the soldiers of the family to sleep on while they hide out in saftey, waiting for a call to do something.
Sonnys thinkin' about going to the mattresses already.
by Patrick Palombo November 1, 2006
mugGet the going to the mattressesmug.

air mattress

An Air Force slut. Particularly used by personnel from other branches of the US armed forces for a female airman who has sex with a lot of people from other branches of the armed forces.
SSgt Slatternly did a train of 15 Marines last weekend!

What a fuckin' air mattress!
by ex-phase-shark December 30, 2007
mugGet the air mattressmug.

Crack Mattress

Mattress, preferably dirty, without sheets that a person actually sleeps on, similar to what one might find in a crack house/den
"No clean sheets?!!Well, looks like I'll be riding the crack mattress until laundry day".
by Ooookay December 18, 2008
mugGet the Crack Mattressmug.

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