Manlets are males who are shorter than 5ft10. They suffer from manletism and can often be found futilely lifting weights in the local manlet pit, in a hilarious attempt at increasing their nonexistent masculinity or prancing around town in high heels after embracing their inherent effeminacy.
Look at those silly manlets tussling over a pair of high heels over there! Oh, I thought they were just a bunch of little girls...
by ManletDepreciator July 14, 2024
Get the manletsmug. The rubber band manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10) is a mobbed-up manlet, a misanthropic manlet, a materialistic manlet and a myopic manlet who petulantly peddles his piddly hobbit pipe-weed to all of the towering grown-ups who have the misfortune of crossing his pathetically puny path. Straight outta Oompa Loompa land, tape measure in his right, booster seat in his other hand. Call him a lesser man, he'll always be a lesser man. Wasted a couple hundred grand, high heels, all colors man. Once inevitably caught by the ever-watchful Manlet Detection Agency, the then incarcerated rubber band manlet instantly and seamlessly makes the for him natural transition into a prison wife manlet and happily lives out his laughably lowly little life in the enthusiastically submissive service of his fearlessly formidable and devastatingly dominant, supremely superior magnificent manmore prison war daddy overlord.
Emily: Lol, why is that deceased rubber band manlet lying in the manlet pit over there and why is he covered with garden gnomes? Bianca: A group of little girls just shot him to death with a pink BB gun and then gave the silly, little manlet boy a dwarven funeral. Emily: Hahahahaha! Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator October 10, 2024
Get the Rubber Band Manletmug. The martial arts manlet is a minuscule and utterly insignificant manlet, who has, in an absolutely futile attempt at overcoming his insurmountably devastating manletism, hilariously decided that in order to bolster his notoriously fragile self-esteem and in a laughably delusional effort at competing with the towering manmores that terrify him, he should pursue an ill-fated career in martial arts. Closely related to the stubby and microscopic, gym coping manlet pit dweller, the overcompensating martial arts manlet can often be found engaging in mortifying public catfights with other martial arts manlets, throwing a hissy fit after being bullied by other children or crying bitter tears of manlet rage after having once again been soundly and easily defeated by a laughing manmore. Willfully ignorant of the plainly obvious truth that no amount of time wasted by bodybuilding or sparring will change the fact that he is a dwarfishly stunted, elflike and inherently effeminate runt of a sissy manlet boy who would be the belle of the ball in a women's prison, the Napoleon complex-driven martial arts manlet personifies peak manletism.
Lol, why is that spandex wearing turbo-manlet twirling around beneath that table lamp while blasting Short People over there? I think the silly martial arts manlet is shadow-boxing. Eye of the Manlet. Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 21, 2024
Get the martial arts manletmug. The infinitesimal murloc manlet is a dwarfed beastling of a moronic manlet boy who, after suffering through a ludicrous lifetime of well-deserved humiliations and rejections inflicted on him by society as a whole but especially women, has chosen to pursue a sub-aquatic lifestyle, only venturing onto dry land to take part in mortifying prearranged monthly manlet mating rituals in front of basketball arenas and microbiology labs. Once underwater the microscopic murloc manlet quickly adapts to his new environment by eagerly embracing his naturally menial role as a proctologist cleaner fish and feverishly feasts on the rectums and fecal matter of all of the much larger sea creatures in the vicinity. Often falling prey to seagulls, seahorses, fin rot, sunburn, aggressive mating attempts by other murloc manlets, Napoleon complex psychosis, diarrhea and to being caught and eaten alive by prowling grizzly bears and manmores who hunt by the riverbank - the life of a murloc manlet is short, just like the silly murloc manlet itself. Consequently the minuscule murloc manlet eternally resides at the very bottom of the undersea food chain, thereby ironically replicating the lamentably and laughably lowly life that the severely stunted sissy manlet sought to escape from in the first place and in doing so once again proving that height is everything. Manlets, when will they learn?
Emma: Hey, why is that frog floating face down in that puddle over there? Aubrey: Yuck! Manlet detected. It's a deceased murloc manlet. Emma: Just gross! I think he choked to death on that pellet of rabbit poop floating there next to him. Aubrey: Manlets BTFO. Truly a befitting end for a manlet. Emma: Lol, so true.
by ManletDepreciator September 1, 2024
Get the murloc manletmug. A megachurch manlet is a massively delusional microscopic manlet boy who senselessly, sinfully and insolently dares to sully the sanctity of the house of the Lord with his abominable attendance, thereby bringing upon himself inexorable divine wrath because it clearly states in the Bible in Leviticus 21:20 that no dwarf shall draw near the temple. For shame! The sacrilegious sissy manlet would be well-advised to sacrifice himself by jumping into the depths of the manlet pit, in order to appease the venerated Randy Newman, the patron saint of manletism. If his derisory offering is excepted, then the preposterously petite midget monstrosity will be blessed by having his dying wish granted, being that Short People shall be played at his nanoscopic funeral.
Sophia: Hey, why is that tarred and feathered megachurch manlet exhaustedly carrying around that cross pendant on his back over there? Isabella: It's the devastatingly dwarfed manlet's just punishment following is immediate excommunication because he got totally wasted off of one sip of communion wine and then urinated into the holy water font. Sophia: Silly manlet boys. The Passion of the Manlet. Isabella: Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 30, 2024
Get the megachurch manletmug. The military manlet is an overcompensating manlet boy who, in a fit of Napoleon complex-induced insanity, has signed up for active duty with the United States Armed Forces. Here the useless and effeminate manlets are generally used as cannon fodder when deployed in the absurd spectacle known as the manlet wave attack tactic, but can also be traded as war brides, serve as portable human shields or can be used as an emergency fortification when stacked up as a barricade in lieu of sandbags. The military manlet is always keen to raise the morale of the actual soldiers in his platoon by donning an Oompa Loompa costume and dancing a merry jig atop a mess hall table as the surrounding military manlets clap in unison while dancing in a circle like the fairies that they are and all the manmores pelt him with height boosting insoles. As an encore Manletlyn Monroe performs smash hits such as "High Heels Are A Manlets Best Friend" and "Bye Bye Masculinity" to further entertain the troops.
Why is that pantsed military manlet lying face down in the mud over there? The silly sissy manlet broke one of his high heels while prancing around on the obstacle course and threw a hissy fit, so the real soldiers just left him there. Never leave a man behind - that obviously doesn't apply to manlets.
by ManletDepreciator August 22, 2024
Get the military manletmug. The perpetually petulant, paranoid and pessimistic petite misanthropic manlet is an isolated loner manlet who childishly shuns the company of grown-ups and instead prefers to focus his girlishly giddy energy on pursuing his numerous hobbies, including but not limited to: alcoholism, compulsively measuring his immutably dwarfed height every five minutes, e-shopping for children's clothes and high heels, daydreaming about getting pegged by a seven-foot tall dominatrix while he sings Short People in his high-pitched and squeaky-voiced manletspeak, performing delusional height increasing stretching exercises while listening to Skee-Lo's "I wish" and wearing nothing but high heels and a training bra, venting his manlet rage by ranting about how all women (righteously) reject and laugh at him at his local Bagel Boss and putting the finishing touches on his manlet manifesto before shooting up his favorite Barbie Dreamhouse due to the Barbie doll he was crushing on calling him an inherently effeminate, microscopically infinitesimal stunted beastling of a sissy manlet boy when she caught him in the Dreamhouse manlet pit as the deranged low IQ manlet was stupidly attempting to give the, by comparison towering, Ken doll a standing blowjob.
Emma: Lol, why is that misanthropic manlet furiously dry humping that garden gnome over there? Allison: It's because manlets can't be choosers. Emma: Short people got nobody. Allison: Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator September 11, 2024
Get the misanthropic manletmug.