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cranking the birch tree

Slang for male masturbation, originated in Hanson, Massachusetts.
I walked in the locker room and there was Ben cranking the birch tree to no avail.
by SlapStickSlappy May 9, 2009
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clanging

he couldn't stop clanging the gongs
by aphmautimeboiiiiiiii January 15, 2019
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Cranking Units

What began as Edmonton-speak for ‘drinking beers’, has evolved into an entire culture.

Anything can be a unit, and usually it’s crankable, sometimes the unit even cranks itself and you need to crank it before it cranks you. Sometimes you crank the units and later on the units crank back (ie a hangover).

Unit Classification System - Crankology. 101

Type 1 Units

- Instant gratification units. Require little effort to crank, with high pleasure payoff.

- Ex: cocaine, liquor.

Type 2 Units

- Units that require some effort to crank, with potentially great rewards.

- Ex: mushrooms, ayahuasca, changa.

Type 3 Units

- Units that crank you, but in the long run allow you to crank even more units.

- Ex: psychedelic ego death, vaccines, getting lost in the forest and discovering your spirit animal after days of dehydration and delirium.

Type 4 Units

- Food units. Calories are eventually required for even the most veteran of greeblers.

- Ex: Rave pizza.

Type 5 Units

- Units that need to leave the body. Bodily function units.

- Ex: crank a piss, bro!

Type 6 Units

- Mystery Units. Units found, effects unknown until cranked.

Ex: powdery substance snorted off greebly shag rug.

Type 7 Units

- Adrenaline units. Units that activate internal adrenaline system for sake of excitement and cheap thrills!

Ex: fire spinning, sky diving, BDSM kinks.

Type 8 Units

Sexual pleasure units.

Ex: cranking your nut butter all over your babe (with consent).
*Looks at empty beer box* “bro did we crank all those unes?”

“I went to help my friend build a fence but then we just started cranking units instead”

“When I birthed my child I was in labour for 12 hours”
“Damn, that’s cranking a unit for sure”

“Love une/ love yoon”

“Don’t forget to use your manners, say please and crank une”

What is life, but a unit cranked?”
by anonymous November 18, 2021
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changing on the fly

Hide in the closet, and have your friend start having doggy sex with a chick with her facing away from the closet. Sneak out and switch with your friend. Extra points if you switch back.
Nate was boning this chick, then we changed on the fly and she didn't even notice.
by G-Diddy April 20, 2005
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Cranking A Brown

When you take a shit. Usually during an upper decking.
I was really Cranking A Brown at the party. Nothing funnier than Upper Decking someones toliet during a party. I of course left the party after i shitted.
by upper deck crew July 30, 2009
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My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself

Possibly the best non-joke pickup line of all time
Girl: I just don't know if I'm ready for a relationshipment.
Boy: Hey cmon. My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself.
by Smeeagain October 31, 2011
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Cranking

To be simultaneously engaged in the acts of crying and wanking.
If his funds were running particularly low, Junkie Jim could often be found cranking at the local sperm-bank.
by Johnny Darke December 16, 2008
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