wanker's cramp 

British slang:
To wank is slang for masturbating, usually understood to be carried out on a man by someone of either sex.

Wanker's cramp is laughingly used to describe any hand pain, with the understood meaning that the person with the pain often masturbates.

You say your hand hurts. You must have wanker's cramp.

wanker's cramp by soreofhing July 6, 2009

wankend 

a weekend spent alone, the spare time is used primarily to masturbate.

Fellow: What are you doing this weekend.

Fellow 2: I've got to look after my mum, she's ill.

Fellow: having another wankend.

Fellow 2: i came out last week.

wankend by Ted Bailey July 8, 2009

Wankeroo

An Australian in London

Wankeroo, Loud mouthed Australian Bankers or Tourists In London

Wankeroo by WBCT September 29, 2010

shower wanker

A person who says he takes a shower for at least one hour, but actually while he is showering he is casually beating his meat (wanks, gives pleasure to himself).

Yo, Vlad, How long did you shower for in the morning?
Like 2 hours!
You are such a shower wanker, eh!

shower wanker by wanking December 13, 2016

Guitar Wanker 

A lead guitar player who plays badly, loudly, and repetitively, on a blues or pentatonic scale. A Guitar Wanker uses distortion to cover up a lack of skill and creativity. Guitar Wankers have no idea how to structure a solo, so they jerk around mindlessly and endlessly, until the rest of the band decides to shut them up. Although there are a few rare Guitar Wankers (Clapton, Prince, Santana) who are capable of wanking without being totally boring, Guitar Wankers generally have no structural knowledge of music. Guitar Wankers generally try to copy these players, but they can't distinguish between their own playing and the good stuff. Unlike lead jazz guitarists, who can noodle around without being obnoxious, Guitar Wankers never listen to whatever the rest of the band is doing. Guitar Wankers are always convinced of their own brilliance and talent. In truth, a Guitar Wanker lacks craft and taste, so they can only produce self-interested masturbatory noise.

Ace Frehley: I can't even read notes. But I can teach someone how to make a guitar smoke.
Interviewer: Maybe you should have burned your guitar and learned to read notes, you Guitar Wanker.

Guitar Wanker by th3sp3c1al1st July 25, 2019

Corner wanker 

1) A person who gives off perverted vibes but are too socially awkward to actually perform any sexual act.

2) A person who stands on the edge of a conversation, occasionally joining in however they never fully contribute to the conversation.
3) A person that gives the impression that they would stand and watch sexual intercourse whilst wanking silently in the corner.

“Omg Alex is such a corner wanker, all he does is stare at girls boobs but he’s never actually had a conversation with anyone”

Corner wanker by Hm0411 February 14, 2020

Useless Wanker 

Something Captain Price (Or Gaz) yells in the last level of CoD 4, he yells it when the gunship pilot cant help them

Pilot: we can help but it will take time to get there

Gaz or Captain Price: Useless Wanker!

Useless Wanker by Illestemia January 17, 2009