stringy paddle

n. A Violin.

As used in the Strangers With Candy episode when Jerri Blank (played by Amy Sedaris) becomes a violin prodigy.

Jerri (Amy Sedaris) discovers she has a previously unknown talent in this episode of the off-color Comedy Central series. Kicked out of the Flatpoint High orchestra by Mr. Jellineck (Paul Dinello) for pounding on the timpani and refusing to follow directions, a distressed Jerri remains behind after class and begins experimenting with the various instruments. Eavesdropping on the horrible sounds coming from the orchestra room, Mr. Noblot (Stephen Colbert) is stunned when Jerri picks up the violin and starts playing beautifully. Soon taking her under his wing and forcing her to practice tirelessly, Mr. Noblot isolates Jerri from her friends and peers in order to vicariously experience the success that eluded him as a child. Distressed by the scratches on Jerri's hands from attempting to groom the family cat, Mr. Noblot brings Jerri to live with him so that she may focus entirely on her practicing. With Mr. Noblot's newfound obsession driving a wedge between him and Mr. Jellineck, and the disapproval of Jerri's father adding to the negative impact that practicing has had on her social life, Jerri decides to give up the "stringy paddle" (her name for the violin) the very night of the Tri-County Music Championship. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

by smudgetool September 17, 2008

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String dance

What Conan O'Brien will occasionally do in the introduction to his show. It involves licking his hands, drawing up fake strings and lifing his hips, starting on the right, and going the left, then "cutting" the string with "scissors" (his right hands), then dropping his leg hard. This is usually accompanied by small symbal hits by Max Weinberg.

"Oh man, Late Night with Conan O'Brien just started!"
"I wonder if he'll do the string dance tonight!"

by ska7245 December 14, 2008

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string theory

Quite possibly the wierdest physics theory ever. While all of the math behind it is correct, attempting to understand it is like having molten platnium poured on your skull. The theory is something like this:
1. Everything is made of molecules (duh).
2. Molecules are made of atoms (also duh).
3. Atoms are made of electrons, protons, and neutrons (very duh).
4. Electrons, protons, and neutrons can be split in half to create quarks.
5. Quarks are actually made of even smaller pieces, called strings.
Strings are eleven-dimensional (ten dimensions + time) bits of energy that not only make up the above particles but create forces including gravity, electromagnetism, strong nuclear forces, weak nuclear forces, and a few other forces that have not yet been discovered.
Strings are so infitismally small that anyone with an IQ of less that 400 (ie, all humans) is incapable of imagining how small they are. To give you an example, imagine an atom of hydrogen was the size of the solar system. On the same scale, a single string would be the size of small tree.
String theory also includes a bunch of theorys including m-theory, relativity, chaos theory, and a few others that may or may not have been invented by someone who was on LSD at the time (if you've ever seen any Mandelbrot Fractals, you'll know what I mean).

After reading about string theory for two hours, my brain decided to go into a coma out of self defense.

by DragonlordALS June 13, 2004

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