masterbate text

A masterbate text is a text message sent out in the moments leading to a masterbation session. The text is sent in hopes of a quick response potentially leading to intercourse rather than self pleasure. If the recipient does not respond in a short period of time, it is acceptable to continue with the original plan to masterbate. This rarely works but is something worth trying on select occasions.

It was tuesday night and I was about to go to bed but I thought I'd masterbate before hand. I decided to send out a few masterbate texts to test the waters. I didn't receive an acceptable response within 45 seconds so I proceeded to masterbate.

by masterbatexter December 27, 2009

masterbate

Masterbate.

A great way to rock oneself to sleep.

Why is bill sleeping so sound? Did he rock himself to sleep, again by mastering that dam wood.

Why is the floor shaking? Bill, are you masterbateing your rocker to sleep?

Bill really knows how to rock himself to sleep, he's out.
Ya I know, he masterbates that wood rocker.

by blackwaterray April 22, 2011

masterbanker

A male who makes a living off selling his semen to a sperm bank.

Dude, that masterbanker makes $70,000 a year for wanking it and donating his junk.

by Josh-Lizzle July 16, 2008

masterbash

The punch/beat your dick sensless until you proceed to cum

Nick : Yo Did you hear matt went to the hospital because he masterbashed to hard......

Neil : Shit man

by The H1N1 V1ru5 March 13, 2010

masterbaconing

The act of one pleasuring themselves in a sexual manner while viewing Kevin Bacon's various cinematic performances or just looking at a photograph of him, or even just thinking about him. Usually this involves popcorn due to the cinematic nature of the pleasuring. Some people find themselves attracted to Kevin Bacon, while others find him somewhat creepy and repulsive. Kevin Bacon can be viewed however you would like to view him; either while masterbaconing or while pretending to gag yourself in disgust. Often after masterbaconing one will start playing the game The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

I went over to Susie's house yesterday after school, the movie Wild Things was on and it was the shower scene with Kevin Bacon, and she was totally masterbaconing.

by m95m January 27, 2012

Masterbaker

Well you could catch these types of people masterbaking pretty much anytime! As soon as you leave the room, when you nap, or when you get out of the shower you'll probably find these addicts masterbaking all over your personal things.. It gets tiring when all you want is to give your poor stomache a break. But with a masterbaker in the home. Nothing else is getting done!

My fiancee is addicted to masterbaking. He won't stop doing it! He makes such a mess and then just goes and masterbakes some more.

I mean, whatever he makes tastes delicious, but that's not the point.

In my opinion, he's the best masterbaker I've ever known :)

by The Bears! April 4, 2017

masterbathing

The act of bathing thoroughly and for a lenghty period of time.

If you are in the shower for more than 45 minutes, you are masterbathing.

by CaptainOJ June 10, 2007