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haemorrhoid

1) A person who can't take a hint and leave.

2) Unwanted immigrant, such as a Pom (someone of English extraction)

3) Any pain in the arse.
Poms are like haemorrhoids. They come out, they are a pain in the arse and they won't go back.
by sociopath9 May 1, 2009
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Hemorrhoids

When your anus hurts because there's not enough fiber in your diet or you ate a ghost pepper or you destroyed your ass with a dragon dildo, causing massive inflammation.
What the fuck was God thinking when He packed tons of nerve clusters and veins into the anus area?!?!?! Didn't He know that people would get painful Hemorrhoids?!?!?! Didn't he know that I and countless others would be suffering to death at the hands of old age due to His poor decisions?!?!?!
by Bad C dev February 28, 2021
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haemorrhoid aisle

As coined by Stephen Fry on QI, it is a euphemism for the anus. The term has connotations of gay sex.
"He likes to take it up the haemorrhoid aisle"
by Amy1993 April 6, 2010
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emorrhoids

The name used to classify the cuts that an emo makes on his/her ass.
Guy 1: Hey, that emo kid's been sticking that razor on his butt repeatedly, you think he's shaving?
Guy2: Nah, man, he's getting himself some emorrhoids!
by medicalmechanica May 14, 2010
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Hemorrhoids

Bleeding from the asshole.
My hemorrhoids are stinging and have stained my jocks.
by Ausstralian November 14, 2007
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John Wayne hemorrhoids

The sound of large amounts of change banging against one's leg whilst wearing loose trousers. So named because of the similarity with the sound of cowboy boot spurs.
"I went to the shop this morning to buy a packet of Apple Hubba Bubba. I only had a £20 note but they had no fivers or tenners! So I've now got a pocket of Cunt's Tender and a very bad case of the John Wayne hemorrhoids."
by Skinbro July 20, 2008
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I have serious hemorrhoids!

A pickup line made from the gods.

You can put it on a mug and every woman that sees it immediately falls in love with you.
Guy: I have serious hemorrhoids!
Girl: Ew!
Guy: :(
GIrl: Im just kidding its so hot
by SpaghettiLover609 December 16, 2022
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