emorrhoids

The name used to classify the cuts that an emo makes on his/her ass.

Guy 1: Hey, that emo kid's been sticking that razor on his butt repeatedly, you think he's shaving?
Guy2: Nah, man, he's getting himself some emorrhoids!

by medicalmechanica May 14, 2010

Hemorrhoids

When your anus hurts because there's not enough fiber in your diet or you ate a ghost pepper or you destroyed your ass with a dragon dildo, causing massive inflammation.

What the fuck was God thinking when He packed tons of nerve clusters and veins into the anus area?!?!?! Didn't He know that people would get painful Hemorrhoids?!?!?! Didn't he know that I and countless others would be suffering to death at the hands of old age due to His poor decisions?!?!?!

by Bad C dev February 28, 2021

Hemorrhoids

Bleeding from the asshole.

My hemorrhoids are stinging and have stained my jocks.

by Ausstralian November 14, 2007

John Wayne hemorrhoids

The sound of large amounts of change banging against one's leg whilst wearing loose trousers. So named because of the similarity with the sound of cowboy boot spurs.

"I went to the shop this morning to buy a packet of Apple Hubba Bubba. I only had a £20 note but they had no fivers or tenners! So I've now got a pocket of Cunt's Tender and a very bad case of the John Wayne hemorrhoids."

by Skinbro July 20, 2008

I have serious hemorrhoids!

A pickup line made from the gods.

You can put it on a mug and every woman that sees it immediately falls in love with you.

Guy: I have serious hemorrhoids!
Girl: Ew!
Guy: :(
GIrl: Im just kidding its so hot

by SpaghettiLover609 December 16, 2022

You and your hemorrhoids

A Derogative term to address a party, implying that the party has hemorrhoids. This phrase is used for embarrasment rather than sheer insulting.

You and your hemorrhoids better get the fuck outta my sight before I ream your ass!

by Gumba Gumba February 26, 2004

hemorrhoids

1. A condition that causes bleeding from your rear end.

2. An insult used to describe a person who is about as irritating as the anal condition.

Girl 1. You can’t sit with us.
Girl 2: Actually, I can’t sit anywhere because I have hemorrhoids.

by Senpaiwaifu July 8, 2019