futoni

Futoni: a word you say instead of Fuck. It takes after the furniture piece, the futon and she only be used in the rarest of circumstances, or when something is really messed up.

"Shut the futoni up about it"
"Futoni, I stubbed my toe"
"Gosh futoni darnittttttt"

by bigeats100 June 10, 2020

cum-stained futon

A cum-stained futon (or CSF) is what you find in the home of a low-class loser who is always at home beating off on his futon. It is stained with his semen (cum) drops.

Jane: Did you visit Peter's apartment?

Mary: Yes I did. He had a cum-stained futon in there.

Jane: Yuck!

by SantoshGeorge March 9, 2008

futon alliance

A close association of video game players, assembled on a futon (or other seating device), formed to advance common interests by playing as team. Members of a futon alliance are loyal and trusting of each other; they will not act against other members of the alliance. Failure to act in accordance with terms of the futon alliance will result in a player being rejected from the coalition and henceforth being known as a futon asshole.

Rebecca, you better find Molly and destroy her player or else we will lose and you will no longer be a part of this futon alliance!

by uglysinglesclub December 24, 2008

Force Feeding The Futon

The act of intentionally expelling explosive gas into the cushions of your friends couch, making sure not to move or shift your buttocks before you are confident that the odor has been fully absorbed into the fibrous layers of the couch.

After painfully holding back, Bart resorted to FORCE FEEDING THE FUTON while maintaining uninterrupted conversation at the interview for the job he currently holds.

by Trish Laam January 12, 2008

Futonari

A girl (usually in anime) that has a penis.

When an anime girl has a dick, she is considered a "Futonari"

by alwaysafan August 27, 2012

futonomous

used as an adjective in any situation
(the point is to not have anyone know what it means)

Your crotch rocket is futonomous.
That dinner was futonomous, Mom!

by leanlikeachola April 5, 2008

Futoed

To get futoed is to leave a bar alone at the end of the night and receive a royal beating, which no one witnessed or remembers including the recipient of the beating, to be a complete futoing, one must go to the hospital

Guy 1. Man did u see the kid that got futoed outside the bar last night.
Guy 2. Yeah man i saw the ambulance, what happened?
Guy 1. Nobody knows

by King of Ypsi May 15, 2010