Yenta Claus

Jewish folklore, a way cool older woman that's nice and really funny. She brings kids toys, especially us really good Jewish kids who Santa seems to forget, or who because we are Jewish, Santa isn't allowed to sneek into our houses by slipping down the chimney or if you live in an apartment with out a chimney altogether. Just don't tell Rabbi Ebenezer. Pretty please with icecream and sugar on top. I promise to be good all year if you let me believe.

"You'd better not kvetch, or eat chozzerai, You'd better not greps, I'm telling you why... Yenta Claus in coming to town!"

or

"She is such a nice Yenta! And to think we have a real Bubbie that brings the kinderlach such nice toys! Don't tell Rabbi Ebenezer about Yenta Claus or else it's no more toys and back to getting that nasty lump of coal!"

by Alex _11 September 14, 2006

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Claustrophobic

The Fear of Santa Claus......

Squidward:Stop im claustrophobic
Patrick:What does that mean?
Spongebob:It means he has the fear of santa claus
Patrick:hohhohohoho!!
Spongebob:STOP!! YOUR scaring him!!

by blazingrathalos June 1, 2011

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Danky Claus

Every Dankmas or Danky morning, day, evening or night Father Cannabis defends his bong of joy to deliver vast quantities of illicit substances to unexpecting but welcoming individuals. Man of few words, Danky Claus appears, jeers the crowd, lights his spliff and has to dip, if you trip he'll help you quick, blowing smoke "OH, OH, OH's" to all before he drips. He is married to a lass named Mandy(UK), or Molly(US) (nee X) and only begins his shift after his time with his wife.

He enjoys vacationing in his houses in Amsterdam, Thailand, and Jamaica, his favourite puffin stuff is Amnesia Haze, but he does enjoy the occasional Skunk. While not tending to the wellbeing of his believers and vacationing he enjoys raves, his hip hop career, and making art. Happy Dankmas to all.

"Fuck man, oh no, where dat weed at!?"
Danky Claus- "Oh yeah! Here dat weed at! Merry Dankmas!"
"Thanks Danky Claus!"
Danky Claus- "Hey its all good my dude, I mean this with all my Dankmas cheer, shut up and have a spliff!"
"Yaaaaaaay"
...
Oh yeah...
...
Food...
...
ZZZ...

(Repeat)

by Dank Claus August 1, 2012

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foot claustrophobia

when you feet are at a state of feeling trapped because they are covered. they might begin to throb or sweat or stiffen. us salt occurs with tight socks or shoes above the ankle.

oh yeah, my hightops I was wearing yesterday gave me such bad foot claustrophobia

by swagmoney1234 June 24, 2016

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Clauser

A Clauser is a person who believes in the power of Claus-The-Man-Of-God. Most of the Clausers live in Clausania, the land of extreme randomness. To become a Clauser, you have to first become a citizen of Clausania, which is extremely hard. Once you become a citizen, you have to spend 1 year living under the Clausanian bridges. Next, you have to pass a lot of Buzzfeed quizzes about random knowledge. Next, you have to be shot by Claus. If you survive, then there is a possibility of you becoming a Clauser. If you are a Clauser, your monthly salary is going to increase by 90% in Clausania.

Random Person #1: Hiiiii!
Random Person #2: Ewwww don't talk to me, you are not a Clauser

by Random Claus May 24, 2020

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santa claus

a pedophile who comes into homes looking for children from the ages of 2-9 to molest. He comes down the chimey, eats the cookies and milk the kids leave out, goes upstairs to molest the children, and then leaves a present thanking the little ones for their service.

Mom: "What are you asking Santa Claus for this christmas."

Kid : " A tazer."

Mom: "Why would you ask for that?!"

Kid: "So he can stop coming to our house. He takes off my clothes and makes me do weird things. A tazer could stop him for sure."

Mom: ......

by Ninja Cullen December 18, 2009

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