Here are some jokes from Larry the Cable Guy
"I was sniffing around at Victoria's Secret the other day. I was like a retard at a chucky cheese. Guess what they have. Underbritches with holes in the crotches. These things sell for 15 bucks. I'm sitting on a dwarful of those worth 250 bucks at home"
"They now have something called eatin' britches. I bought five pairs for my girlfriend and ate a couple on the way to her house. If they made biscuits and gravy flavored, I'd get fat just off that"
"I beleive if I was paid a dollar for every time my dad said he loved me...Well, money isn't important now"
"They say cellphones put microwaves in your body. This guy used one and pooped out a hot pocket"
"If you don't think that's funny, get the hell out of here"
"I have a deaf brother. He also has teret syndrome, so he's all like *makes nasty hand gestures*"
"My girlfriend read a hog hunter magazine and said 'Why don't you trim you're private areas, that'll look sexy.' Oh no, I said. An hour later I have razor bumps and toilet paper squares all over my balls"
"My grandma was in a farting contest..."
"GitRdone"
"I was sniffing around at Victoria's Secret the other day. I was like a retard at a chucky cheese. Guess what they have. Underbritches with holes in the crotches. These things sell for 15 bucks. I'm sitting on a dwarful of those worth 250 bucks at home"
"They now have something called eatin' britches. I bought five pairs for my girlfriend and ate a couple on the way to her house. If they made biscuits and gravy flavored, I'd get fat just off that"
"I beleive if I was paid a dollar for every time my dad said he loved me...Well, money isn't important now"
"They say cellphones put microwaves in your body. This guy used one and pooped out a hot pocket"
"If you don't think that's funny, get the hell out of here"
"I have a deaf brother. He also has teret syndrome, so he's all like *makes nasty hand gestures*"
"My girlfriend read a hog hunter magazine and said 'Why don't you trim you're private areas, that'll look sexy.' Oh no, I said. An hour later I have razor bumps and toilet paper squares all over my balls"
"My grandma was in a farting contest..."
"GitRdone"
Larry the Cable Guy bought a fart machine at the mall, used it everywhere, and gave it to his grandma for his birthday
by KaiserBasara December 28, 2005
Get the Larry the Cable Guy mug.A system used for showing ads on people's televisions. Also known to turn people into lazy, fat bums while lowering their IQ teaching our society that the world revolves around Britney Spears. It requires a large monthly fee to function.
by NewClear April 5, 2012
Get the cable tv mug.to take a poo, shit, dung, deficate, leave a stool specimin, drop the cosby kids off at the pool and so on....
by Adam Smetak June 10, 2008
Get the torquing wicked cable mug.Mikes future employment at the hospital was put into futher doubt when his boss got wind of his daily cobble jobs
by Jon-o-fun August 31, 2004
Get the Cobble Job mug.Who's ready to GIT-R-DONE?
by Mike April 24, 2005
Get the Larry the cable guy mug.One of those hairs often found growing in facial hair that seem to consist of at least ten normal hairs welded together and that you simply can't resist the urge to pull out; fortunately, frequently an easy operation.
by Fearman August 30, 2007
Get the cable hair mug.The incomparable rage that one feels when dealing with the cable company, when they repeatedly put you on hold for 20 minutes then cut you off, when they cancel a reapir visit after calling your office number to confirm a 7 am visit to your house when you told them to call home, when they tell you to stay home from work for an 8 hour service window because they can't accomdate your weekend request for a month.
Similar to road rage but perhaps a bit less likely to be lethal.
Similar to road rage but perhaps a bit less likely to be lethal.
I am in serious cable rage after dealing with those monoploy shitheads at the cable company for the 5th time in the past two weeks. If I could get my hands on some of them right now, ther term 'going postal' might be replaced by 'going cable'.
by Michael Levitan April 4, 2008
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