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Magic Carpet Ride

Getting eaten out by a dude with a beard.
My boyfriend never shaves when he's on vacation. I hope I get a magic carpet ride!
by Siouxsie Supertramp July 9, 2021
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Carpet Baby

When a baby is conceived by semen picked up off of the carpet. Often done by the "scooting method" where the male ejaculates onto the carpet and then the female scoots her vagina across the semen-covered area.
Ethan's insecurities arose upon the discovery that he himself was a carpet baby.

Oooo that boy is so fine I’d have his carpet babies!
by bobsagetlover1 August 9, 2010
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carpet custard

the semi-dry gelatinous goo found on the floor by your other half's PC, usually amongst the crumpled tissues.
wtf's all that carpet custard doing there? I just cleaned this fucking floor you wanker!
by UKP August 21, 2010
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carpet snorter

Slang term for a cocaine addict who has dropped their blow onto the carpet.
I have hung out with many a carpet snorter in my day.
by Dr Bunnygirl July 6, 2020
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F Carpet Bomb

Like f-bomb, this is a euphemism for saying "fuck" but with added the twist of drawing the word out in length.
Guy #1: What the fuuuuuuuuuuck?!
Guy #2: Nice f carpet bomb.
by ookami80 March 7, 2009
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Liquid Carpenter

This is another name for paintable caulk that lousy carpenters use to cover their mistakes. Typically used when the workman does not know how to miter wood so the joints are tight and no cracks are visible. Or, if the guy who installed your sheet rock walls cut the holes too big for the outlets so he puts on the wall plates and caulks the gaps.
You actually paid someone to install those windows? That douche must have used 10 tubes of liquid carpenter. What a shitty job! The guy who put that molding up should have his fingers cut off. Look at all the liquid carpenter he used to fill the gaps.
by bobby ga noote April 23, 2013
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