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Jared (homeless guy)

Jared! The homeless guy down the street! He got kicked out by his parents for no apparent reason?… Anyway he’s now working for Walter where he keeps accidentally breaking the sink, he’s trying to save up for college but let’s be honest he’s 23 and never gonna get in college. (He also looks kind gay)
El caca: Look, it’s a homeless guy!
Walter: No that’s just Jared (homeless guy).
El caca: Oh, Look! It’s Jared !
Walter: Yeah Jared, that homosexual.
by ELCACAISAPIECEOFSHIT October 29, 2022
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Jared

A guy that gets absolutely no maidens. No bitches. No damsels. No female significant other. Or male significant other, for that matter. He gets nobody. He is alone, and will forever be alone. He loves Friday Night Funkin' and anime, and watches them nonstop.
Hopefully, someday, he will find that special someone.
*at a party*
"Yo you seen my boy Jared?"
"Nah he's at home playin FNF."
"Damn that's too bad."
by Drexsanity November 4, 2022
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Jared

Actually the cooloest, sexiest, amazingest, coolest, poggest, incrediblest, bestest, finest, greatest, topest, foremostest, leadingest, preeminentest, premierest, primest, firstest, chiefest, principalest, supremest, of the highest qualityest, superlativest, unrivaledest, second to nonest, without equalest, nonpareilest, unsurpassablest, peerlessest, matchlessest, unbeatablest, unexcelledest, optimumest, ultimatest, incomparablest, idealest, perfectest, highestest, record-breakingest, top of the rangest, top of the linest, par excellencest, starest, number-onest, one-in-a-millionest, a cut above the restest, top-drawerest
Woah bro you're totally Jared rn
by ScaryBigRobot May 12, 2022
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Jared

Someone who has sexual intercourse with cats.

Someone who rapes cats without consent

Someone with a 4” by 14”

Someone who gapes cats

Someone who eats cat

Someone who overall pounds pussycats
Oh hey is that jared? Yeah, he fucking pounds cat!
by Yourlocalcatpedophile January 2, 2022
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Jared

He is the nicest guy around if you need someone to talk to, talk to a jared. They are a little immature at times, but if you need a guy who will treat you write Jared’s your guy. If you become Jared’s love interest treat him right.
by Tennisgurl January 5, 2022
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Jared

So easy to love yet so hard to beat in a fight. Big kid, big personality, big talent, big ego. Confidence radiates stronger than the sun. Don’t know why every girl couldn’t go after Jared. Usually has a really hot girlfriend who’s out of his league, but he only uses that to make himself more confident. Who wouldn’t love him?
by Anonymous21166 January 11, 2022
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Jongleuing Jared

a jentleman of the jongleur variety
This guy just jested a jape? Woah, what a regular Jongleuing Jared.
by maniamoth September 16, 2022
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