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It might sound super duper important, but its really not 

Typically said by people of a sub-average IQ in relation to things that are indeed, rather important.
Dude 1: Hey man you should probably look at applying for some jobs?
Dude 2: It might sound super duper important, but its really not

Chick 1: Hey sis you should probably not do drugs and then drive around, the police might catch you!
Chick 2: It might sound super duper important, but its really not

you can take a dog to a tree but you can't make it bend its leg 

The application of the expression 'you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink' the more familiar domestic dog.
When someone either deliberately or through stupidity refuses to take the obvious decision or follow the necessary course of action.
Can also be "...cock its leg".
A: "I told X to look at the new proceedures before the promotion interview"
B: "yeah, well, you can take a dog to a tree but you can't make it bend its leg".

I've got this thing, and its fucking golden 

1. a phrase used when you are trying to make a deal, and the other person doesn't understand the magnitude of whats going on.

2. used when you are blessed with an amazing opportunity or gift, and somebody you know doesn't understand how amazing it is

the phrase originates from the Rod Blagojevich tapes, in which blagojevich is trying to sell somebody the seat of illinois senator, and he thinks the other guy undervalued the cost of the seat.
example 1:

Joe: hey, did you know i own a baseball signed by babe ruth?

Bob: are you serious? ill pay you fifty bucks for it

Joe: am i serious? the question should be are you serious, i mean, i've got this this and it fucking golden, and you want to pay me fifty bucks for it? id rather sell my soul on ebay.

example 2:

Joe: I just won a backstage ticket to a bruce springsteen concert

Bob: thats nice

Joe: nice? I've got this thing, and its fucking golden

It insists upon its self 

The definition of “insist” is;

“demand something forcefully, not accepting refusal.“ or

“ demand forcefully to have something.” or

“ persist in doing something even though it is annoying or odd.”

When one says “He insists upon himself” It means they’re are requiring of you to put more effort in understanding their Ambiguousness.

For example, when Jesus Christ tells parables or Socrates ask questions; they are insisting upon themselves, they’re requiring of you to do some thinking in order to understand what’s being taught, instead of giving you literal messages of their rhetoric.
Like in Family Guy, S9, Ep.17; Peter Griffin In thinking his family is going to die, expresses his true feels on the God Father movies

Brian: “Why didn’t like it?”
Lois: “explain yourself”
Peter Griffin: “it insists upon its self, Lois”
Lois: “what does that even mean”

Chris: “cause it has a valid point to make! It’s insisting!”

Chris hits the nail on the head, it’s trying to make a point, it has a message, so it insists upon you to pay attention and think. Peter doesn’t like the film because it’s subtle and doesn’t hold your hand like other films do; telling you what’s going on and having tons of exposition so your not lost.. in other words, Peter is moron who can’t pay attention and has poor deductive skills so he doesn’t understand what’s going on in the film, therefore doesn’t like it.

The waffle house has found its new host

What YouTube Shorts kids comment on every video
Timmy: The waffle house has found its new host
Me: Shut up Timmy

Your princess is out of its castle 

A spin on the Mario phrase, which is code to tell your friends if they have something in their nose or if their fly is down
Yo man, your princess is out of its castle... you might want to go check in a mirror.