A person who is too much of a good listener and people automatically open up to them and cling to them like wet puppies. This is not the same thing as a baggage handler. Dog walker is a noble title that is only carried, if even unintentionally, by truly trustworthy individuals.

My boyfriend doesn't have side bitches, he's just a really good dog walker.

dog walker by Unicorn Hurl September 1, 2017

Get merch

sleep-walker

A restless tenant of an apartment-complex or campground who has "intimately befriended" two separate similarly-desirable fellow-residents of the opposite gender, and thus he cannot decide which person he prefers to share a pillow with, obliging him to sleepily stroll back and forth between the two willing cuddlers’ domiciles several times per night.

Horny stud: I went half-crazy trotting back and forth between Tiffany’s and Ashley’s rooms till well past midnight, what with my both craving the other gal’s company whenever I was in one chick’s bed, and feeling heartbrokenly guilty of temporary "abandonment" each time I’d tearfully leave one gal’s bed to slip over to the other’s. Finally a simple solution to my sleep-walker dilemma occurred to me --- I just drowsily sling-snuggled both half-asleep cuties to my own apartment and invited them to crawl into bed on either side of me; that way, not only did I get to enjoy both of their sweet close-clasping warmth and softness at once, but they both got multiple turns of alternately spooning me and nuzzling their cheeks against my fuzzy chest, depending on which side I’d progressively roll over on every half-hour.

sleep-walker by QuacksO July 15, 2018

Get merch

The White Walker

While engaging in a sexual act, one ejaculates into the eyes of their partner, leaves to apparently retrieve a towel, but instead turns up with a hand full of flour, to the face of the incapacitated suitor.

"Winter is coming... So I released The White Walker upon her!"

The White Walker by MCpancake October 6, 2015

Get merch