Close Reading

When you heavily analyze someone’s Instagram post or general personal information to figure out who they are as a person/ what is going on.

Very similar to stalking but with an intellectual and analytical twist.

Like criminal minds- but taking it too far.

Friend 1 - Did you see Sam’s Instagram post?

Friend 2 - Yeah I did. It was so chaotic that I had to do a full close reading last night.

Friend 1- Did you hear that Ariana and Finn got back together again?

Friend 2- Wait what!? We need to close read this situation later so we can fully understand what is going on.

by SassyGorgeousPrincess November 5, 2021

Closet Furry

Someone who just REALLY enjoyed Warrior Cats as a kid.

I never realized Cornelius had been a Closet Furry until now.

by ItsBeanin December 29, 2022

crystal close

Someone who is uncomfortable with abnormality. Someone who does not embrace eccentricities. Someone who does not have a decent sense of humor. Someone who is naive. Someone who lacks general intelligence.

"Oh hey its Crystal Close...."

by Crystal Falls April 25, 2010

deep closet

when a guy fronts like he's a straight douche but he's carrying Gucci luggage, wearing sunglasses indoors, wearing bright fucking colors/a scarf and swinging his hips (vigorously).

"Hey check out that guy! He's kind of hot..."
"Don't waste your time girl, he's deep closet."

by shabbyjohnson August 26, 2011

facebook close

Term for family and friends whom I really like, but generally only stalk on Facebook.

I am Facebook close with a few of my 50 first cousins who live all over the world.

by McAvalon February 27, 2017

Sports Clits

A shitty but affordable haircutting shop where the staff are rude and cut chunks in your hair and refuse to fix it when they mess your hair up

I just got a new haircut at Sports Clits and posted a selfie and now everybody's blocking me

by D Flawless December 31, 2019

covid closed

New signs popping up in front of businesses that are failing because of covid19 virus.

My business is covid closed because of this fucking virus. It wasn't because I'm a bad businessman......just bad timing!

by JoeyBomm July 1, 2020