The largest douche bag on the planet. Has both mommy and daddy issues. Fails to comprehend even the most simplistic sentences and ideas. When he speaks everyone who hears it is instantly made dumber. He fails in school, in life, and in every other way possible. He is more unattractive than a $20 dollar a night motel bathroom. He thinks that the world is flat and that science is something you drink. His clothing choices have all the charm of a Klan rally. Jared likes his mom... a little too much. Jared is descended from a long line of complete morons, and he lives up to the standard his ancestors set.
by JimBobCooter1969 February 6, 2019

jared, a fuckboy who plays with girls feelings. he uses you for sex and will not care if you are hurting. he says that you’re his only one but check his phone sis!!!
by iknow_youre_reading_this_jared May 9, 2020

Jared is the best buddy you could ever have, he no doubt has a cool car with a pathetic horn, lives with his mum, he lives of cigarettes and Mountain Dew!! He’s so cool that he wears sun glasses all day and all night, inside, outside it doesn’t matter with out them he just isn’t the same, and can’t see…
Hey you know that guy Jared? The sweaty boy, that drinks Mountain Dew like water? Yeah he’s so cool, the best bud ever! I wish I had a BFF like Jared.
by The most Methical Unicorn ever February 16, 2022

by OwOkillme September 13, 2019

by ww2 xd May 10, 2019

by Go.touch.GRASS May 21, 2021
