Sperm Admiral 

Noun. Amongst the top ranks of Sailors who have joined the Navy military branch. Also reserved for any Seaman whose name is Doug, regardless of their true rank.

"Dude, did you know Doug was in the Navy?"
"Yeah, he was a seamstress and then decided to become a Sperm Admiral to get more jizz in his diet. A true Seaman. He has certainly 'cum' a long way since that time."

Sperm Admiral by anonymous April 18, 2024

Sperm Whale 

Offensive term reserved for a plus-sized, oftentimes abusive person who seeks to date primarily for sex. The same way the animal has a sperm-like substance found in its body, a person who is a sperm whale typically has a high body count and has been ejaculated in by many different people.

Lmao, loser finally gets his first gf?

Opinion rejected, you're with a fucking sperm whale.

Sperm Whale by Alzorbongus June 20, 2024

Sperm Whale 

An Obese promiscuous woman

I gave that Sperm Whale my Moby Dick

Sperm Whale by The Old Man/Unkle Grandpa June 21, 2024

sperm cleansing 

To cleanse your face and/or body with sperm while singing brain rot songs.

Jake had no rizz, so he ended up sperm cleansing his face. What the goon?

sperm cleansing by skibiditoilersyndrome_1 August 16, 2024

Sperm Credit Union 

A direct competitor to the for-profit Sperm Bank, the Sperm Credit Union is a co-operative sperm banking venture owned collectively by depositors, who are known as members. Through careful management and economy, it can pay a little more or charge a little less as it had no outside stockholders seeking profit at members' expense.

The same pattern held in other sectors where small, local credit unions had taken on large, greedy for-profit banks. Make a deposit in Blood Credit Union and they bleed you a little less aggressively than the corporate hacks at Blood Bank. Withdraw noodles from the local Food Credit Union and be able to repay a few noodles less than would be charged by a greedy, Wall Street Food Bank. And on it goes.

The principle is the same as any other mutual or co-operative society, such as Mutual Orgasm as an insurance provider or the Building Societies as mortgage lenders. By taking matters into their own hands, members collectively obtain a more satisfying outcome.

I was initially sceptical when that trollop Beth tried to seduce me into becoming a member. What, pray tell, is a Sperm Credit Union? This sounded like something out of the idealistic free-love Summer of '69 where the Sexual Revolution, fuelled by the Pill and not yet castrated by full-scale STD panic, led to massive orgies of excess where everyone belongs to everyone else. And these Annual General Meetings? They sounded like something out of a porn flick, Bukkake Gangbang part 666.

Then she sat me down and opened the books, reviewing the prospectus and the annual reports. The business model appeared sound; infertile couples pay to borrow members' DNA — both sperm and eggs — to build their families and secure their future. Members deposit their seed and earn interest. Much like a bank, every one of the hundreds of millions of sperm every day would be individually counted, frozen, accounted for and secured. Every one of them. Everything was strictly regulated and deposits nationally insured up to a limit of a half-million sperm. Compared to the shambolic wreckage of the rest of the US banking system, the Sperm Credit Union was fiscally-prudent and well managed.

Sperm Credit Union by bitchuck September 3, 2024

sperm huddle 

when you're in 15-minure an all-guy meeting and JIRA is slow as fuck

dude jake oh my fucking god, chris just sent us a DAILY sperm huddle at 9:45 and OF COURSE, Athena, our DBA, can't make it because she'll be in sprint planning and the daily standup for her dope ass project the SLT won't let us work on. sure wish she would Stand Up and show off those knockers so i can spurt my scrum all over her tickets as agile as possible

sperm huddle by Senor Snuffleupagus September 6, 2024

sperm recepticle

A misspelling of "sperm receptacle", promulgated by illiterates.

According to sperm.blog "Sperm receptacles, also known as spermathecae, are structures found in female organisms used to store and receive sperm during sexual reproduction. Sperm receptacles are specialized structures in female animals that receive and store sperm from male partners for later fertilization of their eggs. These structures have evolved in a variety of shapes and sizes, ranging from pouches to ducts to sacs, depending on the species."

That much is real. There is, however, no such word as "sperm recepticle".

One more reason why illiterates should not be permitted to breed.

sperm recepticle by bitchuck December 14, 2024