white couch

the prized piece of furniture that nobody is allowed to sit on

Jerry: "Hey buddy, lay down here until those pain killers wear off."

William: "Not on the white couch ! My wife wouldn't like that."

by Margin Monkey #1 March 17, 2011

Nig couches

A phrase used when you turned autocorrect off last week because of its sexual mishaps and while texting your black friend about your new big couches you accidentally type the word nig instead of big. Because autocorrect is off, it didn't fix the mistake. It makes you go into a fist of rage while you yell at your phone for being a racist ass while you anticipate your black friend to either laugh or get angry.

Darren: Dude you should check out me new nig couches!
CJ: Dude. What the hell.
Darren: Fuuuuuu

by NastyDelicious May 27, 2014

couch gravity

couch gravity is when you're being lazy all day long and can't get off the couch.

Hey mate, how about some soccer today?
Sorry but I can't. The couch gravity takes hold of me, it is too strong. perhaps another day.

by fierle franz May 1, 2010

couch tour

aka couch surfing, bum ride, pulling a Henry Miller, relying on the kindness of strangers. A couch tour is a method of obtaining free room and board by which a person, often referred to as a couch surfer, freeloader, or house spook, overstays his welcome at a succession of homes, often mistakenly believing that his nonexistent charm earns him this right.

Brad maintains that he was the third roommate at the green house on Clifton, but Brian and Ali say he was simply doing a couch tour.

by T March 15, 2005

Couch Burn

Similar to rug burn, except on from a couch.

I have couch burn on my leg!

by jane sadwoman February 11, 2010

couch nigger

a bad name for someone, derived from chappel show...

fuck you, couch nigger

by bob September 1, 2006

ham couch

Nobody really knows what it means, but it's not good. Insult perfection that completely bewilders the senses.

Me: "Marjorie Taylor Greene is an absolute ham couch."

MTG Supporter: "Well, you are... pshhh... you..."

MTG Supporters wife: "Honey, why don't say something?"

MTG Supporter: "I would, but what's a ham couch. Look it up on Urban Dictionary. Quick!"

Supporters wife: "Whatever it means, it isn't good..."

MTG Supporter to me: "Yeah... Yeah? Well, you're stupid!"

Me: "Whatever, ham couch."

Police: "What's the problem here?"

MTG Supporter: "He called me a ham couch!"

Police: "What does that even mean?"

MTG Supporter: "Well, hell, I don't know, but it's not good!"

Police to me: "You, knock it off."
Police to MTG Supporter: "And you, stop being such a ham couch."

by WaxorWolf February 12, 2023