mental masturbation

Overly intensive self gratifying procrastination, thought and contemplation for a subject not necessarily warranting such effort.

"Let's quit the mental masturbation here, its a waste of time..."

by Diamond Tee April 09, 2009

constitutional masturbation

To masturbate using an American flag folded up like a dildo.

I was so worked up I had no choice but to go for some constitutional masturbation

by 1970 ink slinger December 03, 2015

scat masturbation

1. Masturbating while covered in feces
2. Putting shit on your hand and masturbating thereby mimicking anal sex

1. That chick from two girls and one cup has a new video, she scat masturbates and looks all muddy. That's some awesome scat masturbation, Holmes.
2. My girl won't let me do anal so I scat masturbate to a picture of her ass. Scat masturbation makes me cum hard.

by Damian St.Croix November 28, 2013

knife masturbation

Knife masturbation is obviously - masturbating with a knife. A form of knifeplay which involves fucking yourself with a knife, could be several different places. I prefer my asshole. The hard part is sticking the tip inside. Or if there is rigid ends it becomes more difficult. Some may enjoy poking themselves with knives but youll never truly live until the blade is up your ass.

Ever tried knife masturbation? its awesome and painful

by Giant ballsack Tumor May 09, 2016

masturbates furiously

a shitty interweb site

man, masturbatesfuriously.com is stupid

by hat November 04, 2004

masturbate text

A masturbate text is a text message sent out in the moments leading to a masturbation session. The text is sent in hopes of a quick response potentially leading to intercourse rather than self pleasure. If the recipient does not respond in a short period of time, it is acceptable to continue with the original plan to masturbate. This rarely works but is something worth trying on select occasions.

It was tuesday night and I was about to go to bed but I thought I'd masturbate before hand. I decided to send out a few masturbate texts to test the waters. I didn't receive an acceptable response within 45 seconds so I proceeded to masturbate.

by masterbate text December 27, 2009

Cronic Masturbation

1. A condition that slowly causes you to die due to masturbating nonstop for weeks or even months on end.

2. The act of masturbating with weed or other incriminating items stuffed between your hand and you penis.

That kid Zach is a victim of cronic masturbation because he cant make it through the school day without jacking-off.

by Vengefulsorrow January 21, 2009