The Manliest man ever.
Every time you sneeze, Chuck Norris kicks his wife in the face....8 times to be exact.
God can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land
Leading hand sanitizers can kill up to 99.9% of germs, Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever he wants.
If you are playing hide and seek with Chuck Norris, he will always be the one who says "not it"
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...too bad he never cries.
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a full clip, and won.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have to live.
Chuck Norris can catch lightning, with his bare hands.
The Boogyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris
Giraffes were invented after he uppercutted a horse in the face.
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the earth down.
Every time you sneeze, Chuck Norris kicks his wife in the face....8 times to be exact.
God can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land
Leading hand sanitizers can kill up to 99.9% of germs, Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever he wants.
If you are playing hide and seek with Chuck Norris, he will always be the one who says "not it"
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...too bad he never cries.
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a full clip, and won.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have to live.
Chuck Norris can catch lightning, with his bare hands.
The Boogyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris
Giraffes were invented after he uppercutted a horse in the face.
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the earth down.
Dude, Travis just got Chuck Norrised... IN THE FACE
James,do you know where waldo is? I don't know, but i bet Chuck Norris does.
Oh my god, did you see that hit? That's a Chuck Norris
James,do you know where waldo is? I don't know, but i bet Chuck Norris does.
Oh my god, did you see that hit? That's a Chuck Norris
by carluvur August 6, 2010
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Only those who wish to have their skin peeled off with their dead children's teeth, be eaten alive by a giant ant, and then be burned with lightning and a magnifying glass should ever utter the name Chuck Norris.
Or
OH JESUS! MY SKIN!
Or
OH JESUS! MY SKIN!
by Mack B May 21, 2008
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Nerris
• Nerrisa
• Nerrison
• Nerrissa
• nerristhemagickid
• norris
• Neris
• Norris Nuts
• norris-ed
• nerdish
chuck norris dont have a chin....he just has an extra fist under his beard
chuck norris dont gotta mow....he simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow
when the boogeyman goes to sleep..he checks his closet for chuck norris
chuck norris uses a night light... not cause he is afraid of the dark....cause the darks afraid of chuck norris.
chuck norris can count to infinity.............twice
chuck norris can eat a bowl of diamonds every day for breakfast..........with no milk
chuck norris dont gotta mow....he simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow
when the boogeyman goes to sleep..he checks his closet for chuck norris
chuck norris uses a night light... not cause he is afraid of the dark....cause the darks afraid of chuck norris.
chuck norris can count to infinity.............twice
chuck norris can eat a bowl of diamonds every day for breakfast..........with no milk
by *~* burpie *~* March 29, 2009
Get the chuck norris mug.Fag: WOW! i love wanking over world of warcraft!......wait..whats that smell... the smell of a musty, muscular,super-amazing,ginger,martial-artist? (turns around)..... OMG its Chuck Norris! dont hurt me im a N00b!
by $p@cer54... May 18, 2009
Get the Chuck Norris mug.The most powerful man on earth.The only person that can rival him is god himself and Chuck still pwns him on a regular basis.
Jesus: I heard you got pwnt by Chuck Norris in Ping-Pong the other day God
God: I fucking hate him, he makes me seem like a noob everytime I see him
God: I fucking hate him, he makes me seem like a noob everytime I see him
by M.B Wavvy July 14, 2009
Get the Chuck Norris mug.by Music_God September 25, 2010
Get the Chuck Norris mug.The name of the toughest guy in Hollywood. Many references to Chuck Norris's toughness have been made. Some examples follow.
1) If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will kill you.
2) Someone actually asked for Chuck Norris's autograph. He now has a permanent footprint carved into his forehead.
1) If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will kill you.
2) Someone actually asked for Chuck Norris's autograph. He now has a permanent footprint carved into his forehead.
3) Chuck Norris doesn't bathe...Water asks permission to make contact with Chuck Norris's skin.
4) Chuck Norris doesn't grocery shop. Food comes to Chuck Norris in fear of Chuck Norris looking for food.
5) A man once said that Chuck Norris isn't that tough. Pieces of this man are still orbiting the Earth.
6) What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper soaked in the blood of the reporter who wrote a negative review about one of Chuck Norris's movies.
7) Three blind mice gave Chuck Norris a dirty look.....once.
8) Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Nobody's that stupid.
9) The four horsemen of the Apocalypse were hired after Chuck Norris quit
10) Chuck Norris was slated to star in "The Matrix" until the writers realized that the movie would then have only been a second or two long.
11) Chuck Norris doesn't give you the finger. He breaks all of yours.
12) If it looks like Chuck Norris might be late for something; time slows itself down.
13) Chuck Norris once got caught in the rain. This region of Earth is now known as the Sahara Desert. Rain will never fuck with Chuck Norris again.
14) A man once asked Chuck Norris to define his feminine qualities. This man has become the deepest human ever buried.
15) One day while Chuck Norris was salmon fishing with his bare hands he saw a huge Kodiak bear. The bear played dead.
4) Chuck Norris doesn't grocery shop. Food comes to Chuck Norris in fear of Chuck Norris looking for food.
5) A man once said that Chuck Norris isn't that tough. Pieces of this man are still orbiting the Earth.
6) What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper soaked in the blood of the reporter who wrote a negative review about one of Chuck Norris's movies.
7) Three blind mice gave Chuck Norris a dirty look.....once.
8) Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Nobody's that stupid.
9) The four horsemen of the Apocalypse were hired after Chuck Norris quit
10) Chuck Norris was slated to star in "The Matrix" until the writers realized that the movie would then have only been a second or two long.
11) Chuck Norris doesn't give you the finger. He breaks all of yours.
12) If it looks like Chuck Norris might be late for something; time slows itself down.
13) Chuck Norris once got caught in the rain. This region of Earth is now known as the Sahara Desert. Rain will never fuck with Chuck Norris again.
14) A man once asked Chuck Norris to define his feminine qualities. This man has become the deepest human ever buried.
15) One day while Chuck Norris was salmon fishing with his bare hands he saw a huge Kodiak bear. The bear played dead.
by thedude1963 April 20, 2013
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