intellectual masturbation

Talking to hear the sound of your own voice. See mental masturbation or bullshit.

He went on and on about how many uses he had for an avacado and a water pik, but we didn't want to hear about that intellectual masturbation

by Bur Seliu June 11, 2006

Premarital Masturbation

Masturbation, or touching of one's self, jacking off, playing the yum yum trumpet etc. Before getting engaged or married.

Gee, you hear about the pope's Premarital Masturbation?
Ya! I think he should go to hell or at least get laid.

by Taeko Hentie April 25, 2006

masturbation

The thing that no one will do for you... Touch your privates.

“Hey”

“Wyd”
“Masturbation”

“Ew. Bye”

by purplegirl11111 November 4, 2017

Device masturbation

noun; the act of being on an internet enabled device for no reason other than the pleasure of oneself.

"There's been a lot of device masturbation, if you will, and it needs to stop. I know your just updating your Facebook 15 times a minute, and there is no reason for it." My history professor.

by Crazybmws September 22, 2011

assisted masturbation

The act of having another individual whack you off, can be of the male or female variety.

Person 1: Dude! My girl hit me up with some assisted masturbation
Person 2: Noice!

by therealOGmexican July 26, 2016

National Masturbation Day

April 19th, national jerk off day for everyone!

🖐️🍆💦

🖐️🐱💦

"Hey Brianna, it's national masturbation day tomorrow!"

by Gloul April 16, 2021

Masterbational

Something sooooo totally badass that right at that moment you want to drop your pants and have a massive wank.

Star Trek was so masterbational that I wanked super hard right in the theatre and shot the screen with my dick cheese.

by BuGzeeYY June 14, 2009