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football

The gayest sport in all the world, even gayer than men's synchronised fisting in pink leotards to "Small Town Boy" by Bronski Beat.

An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.

So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.
"Hey man do you like football?"

"No I prefer tits to balls."
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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american football

classed as sport for some reason that isn't understood by anyone not american.

nobody knows the rules

it lasts for 4 hours or more but they only play for 10 minutes all together

players wear enough padding to survive a fall from a plane...

...except for on their legs. in which case very tight spandex seems to be all that is needed

most of the game is spent squatting and yelling until somebody gets frustrated and hurls the ball away
guy #1: i wanna play a sport but i'm to fat and lazy

guy #2: you know what, i could sign you up for american football if you want
by British and Proud December 28, 2008
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football

A brutal game. It's not about skill, it's about who wants it more. Football is a rough, intense, and vicious sport. Most people can't take it, but if you do, you'll be a chickmagnet. Sorry soccer players.
Girl 1 - Do you like Jack?
Girl 2 - No! He's a wimpy soccer player. I like real men who play football, like Mike.
by Lilliam January 11, 2008
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Football

One of the least skill needed sports to ever be created. It involves no endurance, mentality, or physical strength. Sure you have to tackle 300 pound guys and throw a ball 100s of yards but cmon , if you actually try then anyone could do it. Just get on steriods like all the pros do. Maybe football would be better if they players weren't afraid of getting hurt and didn't have to wear so much padding. compared to soccer, football is like playing nerf with a 6 year old.
A football player tackles a guy to the ground with full body padding. A soccer player gets slammed to the ground with nothing but shin guards.

now tell me which is harder.
by Elmo2012 January 14, 2010
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arena football

by AF49 December 6, 2003
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American Football

A pussied-out, dumbed down version of the sport rugby. Where you can be the biggest fatass in the world and still play. The players on the field are basically 250 lb pawns of the coach. Do the players do any real thinking besides remembering/memorizing which plays are which? Nope. Many asshugging football players like to bash soccer as a sport which requires no skill. Sadly this is not true, but it does require not being a fatass so its a good thing they don't play anyway.

Fact: fags play football
Sorry, I forgot how much skill and manliness there is in tackling each other for 5 hours. But of course not straight. Play only goes on for about 10 seconds at a time, at most, before a break so the fatasses can catch their breath.

American Football: for faggots, fatasses, and ugly fucks who generally lack even the remotest bits of athleticism.
by masrecio May 29, 2009
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football

one of the most un-athletic sports in the world. its stop and go, which means you don't have to be in shape. football consists the fattest players in sports. in the majority of high schools it is a non-cut sport. it also has the biggest meat heads that take steroids and don't give a fuck about their life.
Person 1: Dude. Want to play football?
Person 2: What are you calling me, fat and lazy?
by bballrunner11 August 29, 2010
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