Dead Man Tells No Tales

When a person is too high to communicate.

"Are you okay man?"
*looks over
".............."
"Dead man tells no tales."

by Frankster420 October 7, 2019

The Gardener in Fairy Tales

A woman that loves a married man and is his partner in an affair. Should be ashamed of herself. No morals. Posting love online and clearly isn't what he wants. Fake love. I hope he leaves her for you. And I hope he hurts you in the exact same way he is hurting her now.

Keep being crapping like The Gardener in Fairy Tales. He doesn't love you or his wife. But you should tell her about the afair . Admit it to her like you do to random strangers. so she can find the love she deserves. Scum bag. Fake love. You deserve to be alone. Homewrecker.

by Love is destroying me slowly May 1, 2022

mouse in a telescope

A tampon , prior to its normal use .

Do me a favour Sweetheart , dive into my handbag and bring me a mouse in a telescope , there’s a handful of them in there .
I thought I only needed a piss , but the monkeys nose is bleeding

by Napoleon BonerPart February 4, 2023

San Francisco telescope

When your drinking buddy removes his glass eye and drops it in your cocktail, exposing his juicy eye socket. You slam the cocktail, whip out your dick and fuck the socket.

I was doing shots with my bros when I got up to use the bathroom. Came back to the table and homies eye was in my glass. I pounded the shot, mounted his face like a rabid chihuahua and gave him a San Francisco Telescope.

by BRMedia July 25, 2024

Todd Howard's tall tales

Next to having little hands and little eyes, Tiny Todd "Tippy Toes" Howard is known for walking around in high heels and tellin' great big lies. His long-suffering wifelet says that he's got a little schmeckle and tiny little teeth. He wears platform shoes on his nasty little feet. When detected in public it's evident that he's got little baby legs and that he stands so low, even a child would have to pick him up just to say hello! He should get in his little car and just go beep, beep, beep because nobody cares about his deceptive manletspeak. We don't want no more tall tales around here.

Manmore 1: Oh great, Bethesda is releasing another overpriced shovelware role-playing game soon. Little Napoleon Howard promised to finally add a height slider to the character creation menu this time. Manmore 2: That's just another one of Todd Howard's tall tales! That dwarfishly stunted, petite and effeminate microscopic runt of a homunculus Ewok sissy manlet boy is way too insecure about his laughably girlish height to ever permit such a thing. Manmore 1: What a meddling manlet he is! Short people got no reason. Manmore 2: Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator September 13, 2024

Pilgrimm's Fairy Tales

Da "unicorns and rainbows" kiddie-version of da history of da first colonists' settling in da "new world", which leaves out much of da "grim" realities of their actual "adventures", such as lack of preparedness, unwise habits, mistreating da indigenous residents, etc.

Da Salem witch-trials could perhaps be given da "grim grins" title of "Pilgrimm's Fairy Tales", as well, in dat da absurdly-preposterous "stories" dat were told about said trials' unfortunate accused were merely "fairy tale" --- i.e., largely fanciful and imaginary --- statements dat were made by da plaintiffs who were of Puritan lineage, da same as da original travelers on da "named for what comes after April showers" ship.

by QuacksO April 30, 2025

MuaHLONNBEaT Down tales from the bejripytomburialonnie

Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY beat down tales from the bejripytomburialonnie Benningfieldjr a Bemmimgfilm by lbj as in Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY MARCH 10th 19eightynine.

I invented and made and created and started muahlonnbeat down tales from the bejripytomburialonnie Benningfieldjr. By lbj as in Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY MARCH 10th 19eightynine.

by BJ tutall June 27, 2025