My uncle Jack's off

A very funny "childrens" book written by Bo nehr, that includes multiple references to "Veiny Necked Birds", "Big Hairy Sacks", and "White Sticky Trails". The title of the book can be misleading to some, so to clarify, the apostrophe between the K and the S is replacing the letter I, so the title of the book is actually "My Uncle Jack IS Off", for all you dirty minded schlongs out there

"I just read My Uncle Jack's Off, and laughed my shitties out!"

by StarSoupMan June 28, 2023

Bite someone's head off

Well, this should be a non-literal phrase. It means to be mad and irritated at someone, so you might want to do something to get at them. If they actually mean it... well, take good care of your head.

Definition (literal) of: Bite someone's head off:
Person(?) 1: That guy is annoying.
Person 2: Yeah, sure is...
Person(?) 1: I'm gonna bite his fucking head off.
Person 2: Go for it!
Person(?) 1: ...
Person 2: Oh, you meant literally...? WAIT WHA-

by idefinestuffyoudontknowabout March 5, 2023

get your rocks off

To have a really good time - could be an orgasm, could be a euphoric feeling, could be a giddy state of excitement.

Friend 1: How do you get YOUR rocks off?

Friend 2: I like to looking for great bargains on Ebay. How about you?

Friend 1: I prefer to go to the waterpark and ride the Aqua-coaster until I puke.

by Hey-Johnny-Johnny June 11, 2006

rock your socks off

When someone is so awesome the only thing close to accurately describing their amount of greatness is your sudden lack of socks, bro.

"You really helped me out on that test; now im gonna rock your socks off in return."

by Captain C November 3, 2014

keep her off the pole

Offering a woman other options -- any options -- to secure her financial livelihood rather than resorting to working as a stripper, or other acts of desperation in the sex industry (prostitution, relying on a Sugar Daddy, working in porno, posing as a nude model)

I gave the girl a job cleaning my house...anything to keep her off the pole!
After my favorite ho' went to rehab and got clean, I had to help find the girl some work -- anything to keep her off the pole!
REFERENCE IN CONTEMPORARY CULTURE --
Chris Rock has a comedy routine in which he says:
"if your daughters a stripper, you fucked up." and he adds in reference to his own baby daughter, "my only goal in life is to keep her off the pole!" Check it on YouTube

by henryblue2u September 14, 2013

get off my nuts

used when someone is being annoyed

Loser kid-"hey i called you like 12 times last night and you never answered"
Cool kid-"would you get off my nuts already"

by JSanchez February 24, 2008

order off the kids' menu

v. 1. to date a younger, stupider, less mature, less attractive, and/or in any way inferior person, just because they provide cheap, easy, yet only mildly satisfying carnal, intellectual and/or social engagement. 2. To have friendship with a younger, stupider, less mature, less attractive, and/or in any way inferior person because they are willing to submit to you. 3. To do anything not becoming of a person your age in some vanity fueled attempt to regain the days of yore a la John Updike's Rabbit or that thirty year old coke head at the bar.

essentially, to order off the kids' menu means you are the one at the dinner table eating chicken fingers and pbj while everyone else is diggin' into some white asparagus foie gras dumplings with bourbon gastrique. The bar is low and you're applauding yourself for your meagre every day hurdles. You are (were) a communications or journalism major. Your reading threshold is humor (The Onion!) and graphic novels, and the people your age discuss Foucault with such aplomb it makes you cry at night into your girlfriend's soft, shiny, pubescent, strawberry smelling hair. You dropped out of college years ago, listen to emotive yet angry -core suffixed tunes, and ride bikes with a bunch of college students aping The Outsiders. You mosh and you are over 18. You watch cartoons when you aren't high. You put up with slobs as long as they adore you. You are still having one night stands every weekend you get drunk. Everytime you go to a bar you black out and you've been drinking legally for at least 3 years. You work at Borders.

by VRB October 27, 2005