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Squirting Turtle

The spread legged shuffle a girl does after sex on the way to the toilet after not using protection, desperately trying to hold in any semen before making it to the shower/toilet.
Oh my god, my boyfriend has it so easy after we've had sex. I totally have to do the squirting turtle to the bathroom while he just lays there.
by Sexasauras September 29, 2012
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splinting

Assisting the body's pushing out poop/stool by inserting a finger in the vagina and pushing on the vaginal wall toward the rectum.
"Sometimes it is difficult to have a bowel movement without straining," the University of Michigan Health System write in their explanation of the process. "Perianal Pressure/Splinting is a way to help move the stool out of the anal canal."
by LightningBug February 20, 2021
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Sminting

The act of intentionally consuming foods containing high quantities of fructose and lactose periodically throughout autumn so that you become notably gaseous, then later season when you engage in passive anal sex with either your partner or someone with about a 10 inch (25 cm) phallus who will willingly participate, you fart as hard as you can while squeezing your anus to make an airtight seal, (the pressure forcing a large gas bubble to erupt into the man’s urethra) then quickly pushing the entire length of his phallus out and glueing the tip of the urethra shut, after which waiting for at least one month, poking a hole in the base of his ureters (accessed through the lower back) every few days to allow for the drainage of urine, then with the completion of one month, having the man slide his penis back into your anus, the sensation of tight genital friction along with the built up sperm pressure causing the seal to instantly pop off, reinflating your anal cavity. This introduces the bacterial culture which has been festering in the man’s penis, enriching your internal microbiome if ever you fall ill during winter and take antibiotics for a prolonged period of time.
My husband and I took up sminting on account of my seasonal sinus infection, what a lad!
by Resicoi December 25, 2018
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Sainting

To take a picture of yourself sitting on the toilet bowl mid push and sending it to friends.

Photos are best taken while holding the camera low to the ground looking up. Photos should include knees, toilet bowl, torso, as well as face.
It was awkward when he forgot to shut the sound off his iPhone while sainting in a bathroom full of coworkers.
by The-Ocho April 25, 2013
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squirting jam into a donut

ejaculating into a fat woman, that is, having penetration sex with a plump female (the squirting of the jam may go only as far as the end of the condom)
Having sex with Plump Penny is like squirting jam into a donut.
by Jake March 23, 2004
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squicking

The practice one takes up when skullfucking becomes tedious. Skullfucking is the easiest of the two acts, as you only have to remove your partners eye to get somewhere to stick your thingy. A proper squicking requires you to trephine your partner (make a hole in your partners skull) and pork its brain this way. Aiming for the gap between the two hemispheres is said to provide you with firestorming orgasms.
Und tuh buscotini mosta umpotee cunder squicked mayee.

(And the {retarded babble} squicked me)
by Mike January 21, 2004
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squintineyez

To scrutinize someone with squinted eyes; to inspect thoroughly through narrowed eyes
It may have been the bright sun, but the way Paul was looking at me made me think he was squintineyezing me for talking to his girlfriend.

I always squintineyez new co-workers in order to seem intimidating.
by rmsroxy77 May 28, 2015
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