softerness

Comparing the softness of 2 or more items/ objects.

I was unimpressed the softerness of the towels.

by Eggyolked August 31, 2018

Softener

Something a man thinks of when he is aroused to help him lose his erection.

My boss is so hot, I have to keep a picture of mom on my desk as a softener.

by Airen521 February 7, 2021

Crusty Softener

The sexual act of licking a butt hole with hardened poop leftovers. Often staining the teeth or giving bad breath.

Guy 1: Yo how did last night go with your girl?

Guy 2: It was awesome she gave me a crusty softener, now i feel so clean and she definitely needs a new tooth brush.

by psycho_words March 15, 2011

Stool Softener

An object placed upon a hard chair ( i.e. a stool ) in the form of a cushion or a similar device, used to soften the area that is sat upon. Commonly used when a person will remain stationary for extended periods of time, such as when one is gaming.

"Dude, my ass is falling asleep. Hand me a stool softener."

by RunawayPanda January 19, 2014

free softie

When you get a handjob from a fast food employee.

I went to Wendy's and I got a free softie.

by Mr. Spackle Tackle February 13, 2021

Softpeter

Softpeter is the disgusting green drink you get in jail. If one has ever been in jail and was forced to drink it knows that it certainly lives up to its name. It makes it nearly impossible to achieve an erection, in hopes of decreasing the odds of masturbation/jail sex. Nobody knows for sure the contents of such and upon ingestion one wonders what, exactly, this mystery fluid is.

Person1 Man, i just spent 11 days in jail and all i could drink was water and this green juice, well, not actually juice but more like drink, a green drink.

Person2 Dude, that was softpeter didn't you notice you didn't have a boner the whole time you were in there

Person1 Well now that you mention it i didn't, as a matter of fact, i had a negative boner

by joethejabberwock July 17, 2009

Softly, Softly, Catchee Monkey

An old English proverb founded by a boy scout, meaning: "Don't flurry; patience gains the day". (Basically meaning be patient.)

Mr Man: When is the bus coming?! It's been ages, and I need it here now!
Mrs Woman: Softly, Softly, Catchee Monkey, My friend it'll come soon enough.

by Mr Man123 January 24, 2011