tesco lottery

The Tesco lottery is a game played by people who get deliveries of groceries from the supermarket chain Tescos.

Tescos seem to be remarkably bad at packing one's whole order in full and without bits of other people's orders. Thus, some deliveries you find you are missing a few items; you have lost the Tesco lottery, as some other person has your smoked salmon... however, you just call Tesco and get a refund.

Now, somewhere else there is a person with your smoked salmon and somebody else's bottle of vodka, but they are missing some toilet paper; they call Tesco and get a refund on the toilet paper, but keep the other stuff they didn't order; they have won the Tesco lottery.

The fun thing with the Tesco lottery is that the only real looser is Tesco.

1. "I won the Tesco lottery today... I didn't get a bottle of Pepsi, but I did get two bottles of wine, a pack of coco-pops and some rump steak in exchange; oh, and of course I called Tesco for a refund on the Pepsi."

2. "Damn it, I lost the Tesco lottery! Where's my wine, coco-pops and steak? All I have is this Pepsi I didn't order. Oh well, I'll keep the Pepsi and get a refund from Tesco on the missing stuff."

tesco lottery by Aoife303 November 22, 2006

Bank Drive-thru Lottery 

You enter the Bank Drive-Thru Lottery when you pull up to the drive-thru at the bank, and all the lanes are filled. You have to make the very important decision to choose which lane will get you through faster. Often times, people will sit back several car lengths from the drive thru lanes, waiting for a lane to move. These people need to grow some balls and make a decision to enter the Bank Drive-thru Lottery. The most risk involved with the Bank Drive-thru Lottery is getting stuck behind Bank Drive-thru Asshole.

Lost the Bank Drive-thru Lottery this morning. Got caught behind Bank Drive-thru Asshole, and made it thru an entire CD of songs before my turn in line came up. I also managed to get lung cancer from breathing in Bank Drive-thru Asshole's oil-burning fumes.

Bank Drive-thru Lottery by mad genius December 8, 2010

fuck you lottery 

when everything that is in your life has turned to shit, congratulations! you've won fuck you lottery!

it is the only lottery that you are guaranteed to win.

jon, just won fuck you lottery yesterday when he wrecked his car, found his girlfriend banging another guy before he was going to announce that he was diagnosed with brain cancer.

(he would of told his parents but they eaten by a bear earlier that morning while camping)

fuck you lottery by _psyco July 30, 2010

birth canal lottery 

Fate : the family you were born into.
Either you won it or you didn't.

Example :
Foster child #1 (sister of foster child #2) : We sure lost the birth canal lottery.
Foster child #2 : You sure said it, 'mana.

birth canal lottery by mistrooth September 22, 2011

mexican lottery 

When you get two sodas from a vending machine for the price of one.

Guy 1:Bro i just won the mexican lottery want a snapple

Guy 2: yhea thanks man

mexican lottery by dietxrich January 26, 2010

Cock lottery 

The first time a girl hooks up with a guy and gets her hands down his pants, she finally gets to find out if she likes his package. If she does, she's won the cock lottery.

I finally gave my new guy a blow job last night, and damn, I won the cock lottery!

Cock lottery by tallgirl11_2 July 10, 2011

Hooters Lottery

When you go into a restaurant with attractive waitresses and select a table. You wait until you see who your waitress will be. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. The Hooters Lottery.

Today I lost the Hooters Lottery. My server must have been an original waitress she was so old.

Hooters Lottery by b1gdummy May 8, 2015