Lakewood, NJ is a small, quaint town in NJ where you can find just about every type of person. From Bougie ass Black families to extremely gentrifying Othodox Hasidic Jews to Mexicans, to trashy ass white people. There is literally nothing to do in this town. Everybody knows each other. The moment you get on Route 9, everyone will flock to you and immediately be all up in your business. If you're queer and you're born here, move out as fast as you can. News of your queerness will spread everywhere even if you only whispered it in the many wooded areas of this town once. If you like boring mediocrity & low price housing, and the only form of entertainment is being up someone's asshole about Lakewood is for you!
Person 1: Ugh, fuck I've gotta drive through Lakewood, NJ.
Person 2: Oh god. I hope you didn't masturbate 3 months ago when he clock hit 2:25:26 AM, because they'll know.
Person 2: Oh god. I hope you didn't masturbate 3 months ago when he clock hit 2:25:26 AM, because they'll know.
by Sahaerys July 12, 2019
Get the lakewood, nj mug.A suburb of Cleveland that is 1/6th underwater, Lakewood is the queer capital of the country. Like, really. Lakewood is the gayest place in the USA.
Lakewood is also a great place to raise a family. With a new elementary school popping up every 2 seconds and a highschool that has been under construction for the past 13 years, you can have peace of mind knowing that your tax dollars and your child's critical learning years are not being wasted.
Despite having one of the highest concentrations of LGBTQ+ people in the USA, there is a church on every fucking corner. Every Saturday there are people outside of Chipotle who will hand you and your obviously Jewish or Muslim friends pamphlets on why you need Jesus in your life. You better be inside when it turns noon, or you will be hit with the wrath of 10,000 church bells screaming into the open sky.
Lakewood has a major railway running through the middle of it so atleast once in your residency you will be late to work or school because a mile long train barreled through town at 7:30 am.
Overall, Lakewood is a pretty cool town. It's gay as fuck but also religious as fuck but also nothing as fuck but also everything as fuck.
Lakewood is also a great place to raise a family. With a new elementary school popping up every 2 seconds and a highschool that has been under construction for the past 13 years, you can have peace of mind knowing that your tax dollars and your child's critical learning years are not being wasted.
Despite having one of the highest concentrations of LGBTQ+ people in the USA, there is a church on every fucking corner. Every Saturday there are people outside of Chipotle who will hand you and your obviously Jewish or Muslim friends pamphlets on why you need Jesus in your life. You better be inside when it turns noon, or you will be hit with the wrath of 10,000 church bells screaming into the open sky.
Lakewood has a major railway running through the middle of it so atleast once in your residency you will be late to work or school because a mile long train barreled through town at 7:30 am.
Overall, Lakewood is a pretty cool town. It's gay as fuck but also religious as fuck but also nothing as fuck but also everything as fuck.
by Sparkling Moon Flyers July 5, 2017
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City with the largest Hispanic:Anglo ratio. Mostly inhabited by descendants of immigrants, immigrants, etc. Has *the* most badass Border Patrol force in the US. One of the fastest growing cities second to Las Vegas, NV.
Laredo's a town in South Texas. Contrary to popular belief, it is independent of San Antonio, only 150 miles north on IH-35, which stretches from Laredo to some town in Minnesota.
by Anonymous September 1, 2003
Get the Laredo mug.Mother in law: so were is he from?
Wife: Laredo
Mother in law: you need a divorce
Boss: Where are you from?
Employee: Laredo
Boss: your fired
Guy1: Adonde vas?
Guy2: Laredo
Guy1: pinche naco
Wife: Laredo
Mother in law: you need a divorce
Boss: Where are you from?
Employee: Laredo
Boss: your fired
Guy1: Adonde vas?
Guy2: Laredo
Guy1: pinche naco
by Tony July 17, 2006
Get the Laredo mug.While receiving felatio, before you orgasm, you grab the head of the person performing said task, turn their head and ejaculate in their ear.
Man 1: I don't think she'll hear you come in with the camera.
Man 2: Really? Why do you think that?
Man 1: Because I usually give her a drippy laredo. I'll make sure to blow it in the ear nearest the door.
Man 2: Really? Why do you think that?
Man 1: Because I usually give her a drippy laredo. I'll make sure to blow it in the ear nearest the door.
by a caterer January 20, 2011
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Get the laewl mug.the equivalent to hell. LHS is filled with hoes and snakes. if you have to spend four years in lakewood, you may think about dropping out, or jumping in front of a moving train. the teachers suck, and the staff doesn’t help at all. bitches at lakewood like to talk about you, or anybody that breathes, until they get confronted and are too pussy to do anything about it. so overall, lakewood high school is the literal definition of hell.
by daddy_655 January 3, 2019
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