Skip to main content

left-handed cheese straightener

1. A complicated-seeming gadget, the purpose of which is nonexistent or difficult to discern. Popularized by comedian George Carlin in a skit where he explained that only in America was the patent for a left-handed cheese straightener already taken.

2. Something odd that can only be found in America.
Person 1: What the #$%&@ is that jumble of levers and pulleys supposed to be?
Person 2: Why, it must be a left-handed cheese straightener!
by Mlle. Plath April 2, 2006
mugGet the left-handed cheese straightener mug.

Spaghetti Straightener

A woman who turns a gay man into a straight man
by TurnThemStraight September 25, 2018
mugGet the Spaghetti Straightener mug.

straightening my hair

using an outrageously expensive heating device that slowly kills your hair in order to make it straight like asian hair
Look at what straightening my hair did!
by dancerxox9 October 16, 2008
mugGet the straightening my hair mug.

Japanese Straightening

A way to chemically straighten one`s hair so it remains straight for 6 months to a year. Usually takes up to five hours and can cost anywhere from $80-$300. Damages hair a bit but leaves it stick-straight.
Odette got her hair Japanese Straightened on Saturday, and it was so shiney and straight I couldn`t believe it! Especially since she had extremely curly hair before she got Japanese Straightening.
by RichardFanx3 August 24, 2006
mugGet the Japanese Straightening mug.

Straightening Iron

1.) An electronic device which uses applied pressure and heat to straighten one's hair.

2.)By its name one may assume that this is a tool which will enhance the masculinity of homosexual males; ironically, however, its application makes you look gayer.
Example 1
Girl: I go to the tanning salon 4 days a week. I wear mac make up. And I use a straightening Iron on my bleached hair.

Other Girl: Cool. Now no one can tell that by nature you're not very attractive.

Example 2
Guy: I think I'm gonna cut my hair. It's too wavy to grow out.

Girl: Just use a straightening iron.

Guy: Sure, that sounds like a blast!
..........15 minutes later.........
Guy: Well, my hair looks straight, but I look much the opposite.
by Kawlyn1029 July 4, 2005
mugGet the Straightening Iron mug.

straighten

To pay off a 'bent' or corrupt official
Jack straightened out the copper and we got let off
by Damian M January 10, 2009
mugGet the straighten mug.

Straightener

A small number of alcoholic drinks to regain one's composure after a stressful experience
I need a straightener after failing the driving test again
by Conal Cam May 25, 2008
mugGet the Straightener mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email