A soccer mom is typically a white suburban woman aged from 30-50. They are usually picking their kids up from school and driving them to the various activities they participate in. Usually seen with an SUV, a coffee and a cell phone yelling at someone. She owns a two-story house with her husband and two/three kids with a picket fence in the front yard. They are crazy Christians who believe that anyone or anything that isn't Christian is cursed by the devil. They blame rap/rock/metal music, the Internet and video games for all the problems in the world. They believe they are always right and that their opinion matters most. They are often seen telling others what to do. They are one of the people most responsible for the dumbing down of today's society. Her kids live a life planned for them. They have to get straight A's in school. They are forced to participate in soccer, hockey and many other sports. They are not allowed to watch any movies rated higher than PG. They are not allowed to play any video games, other than a Nintendo Wii for an hour a day. They have no Internet access, the computer is for homework only. After being forced to listen to Sheryl Crow, Shania Twain and Creed all of their life, they end up becoming rebels the moment they start high school. They do drugs, they get into fights, and start bullying others. Little does the soccer mom know that her perfect little daughter is fucking the captain of her school's football team. Soccer moms make me sick.
That soccer mom yelled at me because I was playing Metallica full blast! She said it was the creation of the devil...
by Marco K. May 27, 2010
A mom whom feel that they need to protect their kids from the evils of the world wide web, t.v., and music. Even though there aren't really any. Like only watch movies pg and under, and tv-pg and under. There kid might not get to hear the greatness of heavy metal too.
Person1:I really want this death cd.
Person2:Yeah Death is awesome.
Soccermom:Heavy metal is the devil. You shouldn't be listening to that. Instead go pick up a Hannah Montana cd.
Person1:Shut up. Her singing makes my ears bleed.
Soccermom:HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP!!!!
Person2:Bitch your the one who are trying to tell us what to do.
Soccer mom:Don't say that in front of my kids.
Person1:We don't care.(Gives the bird.)
Soccermom leaves.
Person2:stupid soccer mom.
Person2:Yeah Death is awesome.
Soccermom:Heavy metal is the devil. You shouldn't be listening to that. Instead go pick up a Hannah Montana cd.
Person1:Shut up. Her singing makes my ears bleed.
Soccermom:HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP!!!!
Person2:Bitch your the one who are trying to tell us what to do.
Soccer mom:Don't say that in front of my kids.
Person1:We don't care.(Gives the bird.)
Soccermom leaves.
Person2:stupid soccer mom.
by vfdc June 27, 2007
They name their children Madison, Britney, Caitlyn, Tanner, Bryce, Trevor... they drive an SUV or minivan embossed with soccer ball decals and honor student bumper stickers... their two most prized possessions: their cell phone and their sport water bottle... their husbands are never around, either at work or playing golf... they live in a constant state of suspicion of anyone "different" or not from their neighborhood (which usually is gated to keep those other people out).
They and they alone have made the lamentable Kidz Bop series a huge success and consequently are raising social retards who when they finally are "free" and off to college, will become drunken frat boys and/or slutty sorority girls.
They and they alone have made the lamentable Kidz Bop series a huge success and consequently are raising social retards who when they finally are "free" and off to college, will become drunken frat boys and/or slutty sorority girls.
The soccer moms of River Place subdivision gathered at Starbucks to discuss the growing problem of suspicious-looking Hispanic lawn crews prowling up and down their streets. Molly suggested that they discuss the issue with the HOA, to which Cindy said, "Good idea! Maybe we can make a rule requiring all Hispanics who come to our neighborhood be required to pass a background check."
They all loved this idea and toasted Cindy with their frozen lattes.
They all loved this idea and toasted Cindy with their frozen lattes.
by Tom Fool May 24, 2007
Middle to upper class white 30 to 45 year old moms that think every friggin thing is violent, except for their perfect little brats that they call children and their mini vans/elephant sized SUV's that use more gas than a plane going to Australia. Most of them are mind drones to their husbands who are the only provider of money seeing as none of them have jobs. They carry 100$ coffe, and a cell phone with them everywhere. And most of the time their vocal chords hurt from screaming their kids name at his or her soccer/baseball game 24/7. They want to censor everything that isn's christian, because its "evil." and feel only G rated movies and E rated video games are suitable for their bratty as hell kids. One of the most ignorant people around, because they think anything that isn't christian, white, and swear and or violence free is damed to hell.
"that soccer mom just cut me off in her gianst SUV cause she's late for her brat's soccer game, now i have a fender bender that she blamed on me"
by questionmarkc October 04, 2005
One of those moms you see in game stores who freaks the fuck out at managers for "polluting th minds of our youth". The soccer mom(read: bitch will commonly cut you off in traffic without warning, and then honk rapidly. On the back of her blue minivan/SUV there is ALWAYS a stupid generic soccer ball sticker. There are also about 2 to 3 stickers saying "my little fucker is an honor roll student at _____ Middle School."
In my local mall one day, I was just going into the music store to buy a new CD. I had my headphones on and was listening to my favorite band, Rammstein. A soccer mom(carrying PETA-endorsing stickers and pamphlets) approached me and yelled at me about my "Nazi pollution"(she could obviously hear it). I took my kickass German CD out and loaded it into one of the store's useable stereos, and turned the volume to the max. Bitch.
by Zwitterkrieger January 25, 2004
1.A middle to upper-class post-baby boomer woman, usually white, who usually spends her time homemaking. Her children are her whole world, and she considers them to be the exceptions to every rule. She cannot control them and expects everyone else to deal with that. She loves trendy diets and hair styles, is fashionably late to her children's sport practices, and insists that her children's teachers do not challenge them enough. Debate rages over her political leanings, but regardless, she feels that her and her family are moral soldiers, making sure that those who have "questionable" character are ignored, shunned, and avoided. She lives in the suburbs and drives an expensive SUV that her husband had lifted into the stratosphere, even though it will undoubtedly never be taken off-road once. Can frequently be seen standing in line in coffee shops and pays for a pack of gum with a debit card.
2.An object of sexual infatuation for many young men between 20 and 40.
2.An object of sexual infatuation for many young men between 20 and 40.
by Guinness for everything July 14, 2005
Annoying bitch who stays at home to clean. She picks up here kids at school every day to lug them of to some kind of sports practice. She uses the v-chip,ESRB, and movie ratings as a tool to make sure her kids don't hear any "language" or see any violence. Internet is a "no-no" other than going on kiddie learning games websites for 30 minutes a day. If someone says "an inappropriate word" near her kids while she is with them, she will quickly cover their ears. She usually drives an SUV with a bumper sticker like "My Child is an Honor Student at ________ Elementary School", but no one cares if your little bitch of a child is an honor student. She only let's her kids listen to Oldies music or Christian "Family" Music. She makes sure to drive real slow as she wants to protect her precious angels who still sit in a carseat at age 9. bHer husband is usually a doctor, realtor, or some other money-making job.
by rapsux March 16, 2005