optical delusion

Misreading a word, phrase, sentence or headline, often to humorous or shocking effect.

The headline read 'Intel back on track', but for a split second, I thought it said 'Intel back on crack'.

by beandog February 9, 2005

opticalrectalitis

A medical syndrome whereas one has his head up his ass and has a shitty outlook on life.

Your symptoms indicate that you suffer from opticalrectalitis.

by aFfLiCtEd December 19, 2004

Optiminal

A group of gamers formed by years of friendship, company name. Currently a Minecraft group, community, and contains traces of ethanol.

Bro 1: I'm really glad we made Optiminal together, I love you guys.
Bro 2, 3 & 4: Shut up cunt.

by Proto :D May 4, 2020

optical rectalitis

from>latin: poopusinvisionus; human affliction stemming from repeated berating, egodeflation, ex-wives, parade-precipitation, and constant mindfuck from a second party ~individual//group/groups. Common street vernacular that actually should be defined in UD is "SHITTY OUTLOOK".

I clean my contacts with Preperation-H because I have optical rectalitis.

by terryzz February 22, 2009

Optirectalfecalitis

A severe mental condition that normally takes hold during the early morning hours shortly after waking. The affected individual will almost immediately suffer from a shity outlook on life in general. Optirectalfecalitis(ORF) is sometimes confused with depression. One way in which to verify the condition is to make a comment about how great your life is. One of two reactions will then occur. The individual will break down into tears and whine about how crappy things are, this is classic depression. If you wake up a day later in the hospital with a concussion then you know that the individual was suffering from ORF.

The best way to approach a person with suspected Optirectalfecalitis is with a beer(preferably open). This tends to create a temporary buffer in the brain stem allowing for conversation without fear of injury.

by PenguinsFury January 14, 2009

gastro-opticalendectomy

The surgical procedure of having a window installed in a persons stomach to allow them to see when their head is up their ass.

The politician's fly was open not for favors but for clear vision. His aide was polishing his gastro-opticalendectomy window.

by electrician January 31, 2010

optical delusion

An occasion when someone trys to twist something that is clearly normal into something that either causes excitement, offends someone, or helps prover their point.

Q- Yo man, have you seen my ticked out '77 Honda Accord?
A- Nah man, that just one of your optical delusions.

by djyr2003 February 16, 2010