Emergency Landing

When you have to shit so bad that you start crapping before your cheeks actually make contact with the toilet seat. Usually involves a running start with pants down.

Dude, i payed the price for eating all those burritos last night. I just barely pulled off an emergency landing when i got home.

by phattypatty_33 September 15, 2009

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Landing Pad

A layer of toilet paper (usually somewhere between 3 and 8 pieces) laid down on the surface of water within the toilet bowl before one has a bowel movement. This layer of toilet paper, or ‘landing pad’, serves a 3-fold purpose: (1) To prevent the dreaded splashback effect caused by the fecal displacement of water; (2) To soften the “KER-PLUNK!” sound that often occurs when feces breaks the surface tension of the water (this is particularly effective because the toilet paper disables the properties of water’s surface tension by acting as a semi-permeable membrane, a sort of dampening medium between water and air; further, the speed of the displacement of the water is lessened, which makes for a much softer noise); and (3) To bring about an awareness of the TP supply before use, negating any chance that one might have a bowel movement, only to look over and notice that there is no toilet paper.

Johnny: "Dude, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents for the first time last night. Halfway through the night I realised that I needed to take a massive dump, which was uncomfortable because the bathroom was next to the living room where they were sitting, and the house was dead quiet"

Billy: "No way, man... what did you do?"

Johnny: "I built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but I was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. What a night it was!"

by JPaps January 8, 2011

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another happy landing

Phrase used to indicate that a ship has landed sucessfully. One of many obi-one liners

*crashes starship into the ground*
"Another happy landing"

by Lumpyland69 February 7, 2017

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landyacht

A large, unwieldy, typically American automobile originating from earlier model years, specifically the 1960s up until the 1990s. General characteristics of a landyacht are tremendous proportions including a length that rivals that of an aircraft carrier, an asphalt crushing curb weight similar to that of a fully grown hippopotamus, giving the landyacht the distinctive Spanish-Galleon-like handling and a gentle, couch-like ride along with the turning radius larger than that of a big rig. Landyachts are typically powered by unnecessarily large big block V8 engines producing hilariously low amounts of horsepower mated to a sloppy 3 or 4 speed automatic transmission. If you spot a landyacht, it is likely making futile attempts to park, attempting a 27-point turn across an intersection, losing a hubcap, or drinking large amounts of fuel at a gas station.

Noteworthy landyachts:
Lincoln Continental
Cadillac Sedan de Ville
Oldsmobile Delta 88
Chevrolet Caprice
Buick Roadmaster
Cadillac Sixty Special
Mercury Colony Park
Ford Country Squire
And the recently discontinued Ford Crown Victoria/Lincoln Town Car/Mercury Grand Marquis

Extended length pickup trucks and SUVs may also be considered landyachts.

Person 1: Holy shit look at that thing, it's like 25 feet long
Person 2: That's a landyacht. Let's watch him try to park.

by jminthemachine March 15, 2015

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