Humpty Dumpty Dumbass

A person whose IQ points are so low it's funny - anyone who has an IQ score of 70 or below is considered this.

Person 1 (Humpty Dumpty Dumbass): I was supposed to cook a pie today and it said to put it at 120 degrees, I measured a protractor to 120 degrees, and it didn't even feel warm to the touch after I set a timer for one hour! It melted! It said on the package set at 120 degrees for 45 - 60 minutes!! I'm suing McCain's for making a pie that doesn't cook and just sits in your oven like a pile of shit!!!!

Person 2: Holy fucking shit Kyle I told you this a thousand times! Your oven has a button that says "Bake" and you press it to set the degrees in celsius or fahrenheit, NOT A FUCKING MEASUREMENT ON YOUR STUPID NO FUCKING GOOD PROTRACTOR!! HUMPTY DUMPTY DUMBASS!

by beeytch\ April 18, 2017

Humpty Dumpty Junkie

A junkie that is accident prone and always ends up in hospitals

A humpty dumpty junkie is a junkie that always ends up in hospitals due to falls and brittle bones, like if Mr. Glass from unbreakable was a junkie

by EricCC December 9, 2014

dense humpty dumpty

another term for the magnificent clive palmer who occasionally goes by mr.palmer.

clive palmer is simultaneously the biggest dense humpty dumpty and fatty mcfuckhead known to man

by vapidkourt October 7, 2019

put humpty dumpty back toghther

Putting Humpty Dumpty back together means that someone has accomplished a very difficult if not impossible task.

Spending the weekend with me and making sure that I was healthy was no less feat than "put humpty dumpty back toghther"

by Modak May 13, 2014

Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.

Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!

by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012

National Humpty Dumpty Day

December 3rd is National Humpty Dumpty day because Tnaiai and Esther left on December 3rd and Tnaiai's favourite game was Humpty Dumpty

December 3rd is National Humpty Dumpty Day

by KF842 December 4, 2021

H.D.(HUMPTY DUMPTY)

H.D. is a short fat bald man who does nothing but talks about his ancient yet insignifcant military career, and also who wants to fuck john cary in the ass. This person also has sexual relations with his cat named wanda.

H.D. if you look at shirley's ass one more time you ass is fired.

by Team Mopar November 17, 2004