Masturbation Ninja

One who can masturbate/masturbates everywhere they have gone/are without fear of being caught, with any object, without being seen, heard, or others having suspicion of the action of masturbation, any where, any time, and any place.

Student #1: Hey man, I whacked off in biology today.
Student #2: HOLY HELL! Did you get caught?
Student #1: Hell no I didn't, I am a freaking Masturbation Ninja.
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Guy #1: I jizzed all over my friends moms bra last night while he was in the same room.
Guy #2: What!? He didn't see you?
Guy #1: Shit no, he was sleeping.
Guy #2: Good thing you're a Masturbation Ninja.
Guy #1: Damn right.

by gregmastersensai November 20, 2009

Masturbationist

One who masturbates to a professional degree and does so to a professional calibur.

That guy is so good at jerkin' his wang, he's a masturbationist.

by Jonathan Merkel November 24, 2004

literary masturbation

When someone quotes him or herself.

Yesterday, Brian put his own, apparently funny quote, on his AIM profile. There should be some decency law against literary masturbation like that.

by ricebagg July 28, 2004

Post Masturbation Snooze

The overwhelming tierdness recieved after a very successful session of masturbation. The snooze is used as a way to relax and restore the body to premasturbation state.

Boots:" dam dude that post masturbation snooze had me out for at least 2 hours. it was amazing and my cock feels great."

by jewjewb October 25, 2007

air masturbation

To perform an exaggerated gesture of male masturbation with one's hand in the air in front of oneself. Meant usually as a insult to somebody to whom it is directed, or as a symbol of annoyance at something which has been said. See also am.

Jim: Dude, u sux hardcore at CS!
Bob: Hey Jim, guess what? <performs air masturbation>

by RoboSpy March 22, 2004

emotion(al) masturbation

Purposely watching or thinking about sad subject matter in order to purposely provoke an emotional release (most commonly in the form of crying).

The Humane Society commercial is my favorite emotion(al) masturbation material. That shit has me crying all night.

by crystalvibezzz123 June 22, 2020

Masturbation Celebration

An indicent where you have just done or accomplished something incredibly good, but instead of going to a party to celebrate this you go home and masturbate your ass off. You just did something incredible so that makes you extra happy, thus turning you on more.

We won the football game, but instead of going to the party we all went up to the locker room and had a masturbation celebration.

by A shitty excuse for a name November 1, 2006