Jonathan

Depressed.

Jonathan: "Wow haha I'm so Happy" :D
Jonathan: *Wants to become Anti-Depressed*

by xX_Depressed_Mexican_Xx November 13, 2018

Jonathan

1) A person in that is neither hilarious nor good looking
2) A person that no one loves
3) To be very annoying and act like an idiot

1. Jane: "You hooked up with him?"

Kim: "Yeah I was drunk"

Jane: "He's such a Jonathan"

Kim: "Yeah, worst one night stand"

by BB-this-means-war November 30, 2011

Jonathan Cook

Jonathan Cook is the lead singer for the band Forever the Sickest Kids. Jonathan is most famous for hitting on anything with a vagina. JCook prefers underage girls though, and is currently linked to Disney Starlet Selena Gomez. Jonathan is a strong Republican and enjoys hunting ducks. Cook claims to be a devout Christian, but who really knows.

You will never believe who stuck their tongue down my throat at the show last night!

Who?

Jonathan Cook

by DemiLov March 17, 2009

Jonathan

A guy who plays with himself by putting his hand in his pocket and rubbing.

I can't believe you did the Jonathan while waiting in the grocery line.

or

That Jonathan left some cream in my jeans.

by Slim Dingo September 26, 2011

Jonathan

Typically a tall guy, who has some other quality that makes him easily identifiable such as hair color or the way he walks. Be aware around him. He is manipulative, and will destroy your friendships from the inside. Often insanely jealous, and will try to draw sympathy from false stories. Be aware of his tricks, if you meet him, stay away, or you’ll lose everything.

Jonathan told me his last girlfriend cheated on him, so he's afraid of losing me. Thats why he doesn't want me to hang ou with my friends

by losteveryone March 22, 2010

Johnathan

Stupid little boy with a lisp and mommy issues. And by that, I mean that he still drinks from his moms plump tits at the age of 21. Needs to learn how to dress so he doesn’t look like a schoolboy hooker. Can’t drink for shit. Not sure why UMass accepted him, he can’t even read.

Girl 1: did you meet that guy Johnathan?
Girl 2: oh, yeah... he needs Jesus

by stripcroquetgang October 31, 2018

jonathan

A rather irritating and insufficient waste of a human being who needs to be told everything. He doesn't know what to do,and even when he is told to do something he has no idea what the fuck it he has to do.

You: y are u not breathing?
Jonathan: o I forgot... U have to remind me, im just a Jonathan.

by jonathan sucks massive wang April 28, 2013